Trouble is

It's Chinese New Year eve right now but it sure doesn't feel like CNY to me, feels like just another day. Honestly, I wouldn't mind spending today alone but ended up going for some BBQ with some school mates at night. I think I'm more of the kind of person who will keep to myself unless I'm really close to you, trouble is, my friends here think I'm emo or something like that. Maybe it's the hair, maybe it's just the way I act but I feel that I'm definitely not emo once you know me, of course.

Going to the BBQ was really a last minute decision for me. For one, I knew that there would definitely be alcohol and I really wanted to put myself away from tempation but I still went in the end and thankfully I didn't even feel tempted to have a sip when my friends told me to. Initially I was supposed to go for some dinner with Leon, Roxane and Darren but I said no at first and by the time I said yes there was not enough space. Roxanne's parents wanted to treat us that's why I felt bad and I'm feeling slightly blessed that I didn't go cause I got to experience another kind of 'BBQ' with friends. No one really got drunk except for one who got slightly drunk and started talking funny stuff. Met quite a few people too. There's this guy, his name is Ikram (I think that's how you spell it) and he plays the guitar. His guitar is so good, it's an Epiphone and it cost him Aussie $900 which is about S$900. The guitar is really super good, sounds extremely good and is very nice to play. He says it actually is almost exactly like a Gibson just slightly lousier. Met some other people too but I don't remember all their names, I really suck at remembering people's names.

Well, before the BBQ I actually went out to have dinner on my own. Ever since coming to Australia I just feel like the companianship I will build here would be 'short term' in the sense that I'll have to go back the next year to serve NS so what's the point of getting so close right. I know this kind of mentality is wrong but that's the way I think. I'll try to change that mentality but it's not gonna be easy since it's been with me for quite some time.

Other than that I guess I've grown closer to Darren and Leon in the sense that we spend so much time together so it's pretty cool. I mean we spend so much time together so how not to be close. They aren't like you guys in Singapore, and they are really different kind of friends to mix with. I always knew that this world is really big but ever since coming here I finally realized just how big this world is. Singapore really is a bad place to grow up in because of the way they educate the people. Yes, it may be good but is it really helping as much as it can?

Just skyped with my family, uncle, auntie and cousin included. Was really great catching up with them. The thing about me is that do I dare blog how I really feel when I know who is reading this blog. So far, it's been ok, I mean we all hide some stuff but I'm not changing what I want to type just to hide how I feel from people. That's the reason why this blog was locked for such a long time, cause I was afraid I might change the way I blog when I open it up.

My first CNY eve away from home and it wasn't bad at all, a new experience. I wouldn't say that CNY at home would be a better as compared to having it away from home, they're both good and bad in their own sense.

Gotta study now! Take care!

12:00am