Hmm.. Let's see.

Screwed up POA test today. I even left early feeling that there was no hope. Haha. And screw up is seriously screw up. Basically, my studying last night was kind of pointless though it did help quite a fair bit. Not going to make the same mistake twice though.

Went home and Jerome came up. Watched Smallville before going down to play soccer. But it rained after playing for like one hour so we went back up.

Went to some Novotel Hotel thing for dinner. Ate alot since it was buffet style. Really very full now but the food was good. Long time since I went for International Buffet. Haha. Hmm...

Ok I realised that there are friends almost everywhere that would want to hurt you directly or indirectly. I'm quite sure that people sometimes do something knowing that another party would get hurt indirectly. They are seriously a bunch of hypocrites who act nice in front of you and really their actions are really out to hurt you? No I'm not a victim of that but I've just seen stuff like that happen alot recently. Argh, bugger hypocrites. Worst part is some of them are Christians. (No way am I implying that I'm perfect) Haha. It's like sometimes people don't do it with 100% intention to hurt the person but he does it and upon thinking realises that it will hurt another party but still does it with like with 10% intention?

Anyway, yesterday had LMS class. It was quite fun cause it was mostly discussion and less teaching. Pool yesterday with Guo Yao, my ex tutor. Ok, either he is super good or I've become super super noob. Argh seriously seriously noob.

Anyway, crammed for till quite late last night..

Hah. It's quite late now. Mugging for POA test tomorrow. Finally understand almost everything that I don't understand? Yeah, had fun today I suppose? Or should I call it yesterday since it's 12.30am now. I think I should be able to pass the test tomorrow. Well, pass is pretty bad too but well, it's what I deserve for the amount I studied.

Definitely going to edit this post tomorrow when I have more time to blog. See you! (:

Argh.. Just screwed up my POA quiz. 27.5 upon 50. I honestly don't know how to pass the test on Saturday..

Tiring day today.

Well, I guess time + God heals all wounds. But I don't think God will heal the wounds completely at times and may leave a scar there for us to remember. I remember in the past, God used to make a huge influence in my life. Do you guys know that downloading music is a sin? Most think it's not but it is.

Anyway, life's been not ok this past few days. I feel so lonely but of course I know that God is there for me. Hmm.. God really has a plan for everyone and no matter what happens we can't stop believing. I wonder if we'll be able to recognise each other in heaven.

Anyway studied abit today and went to Anfield for soccer. I played almost all the matches as I was in two teams which is good cause I really got to work out alot. I really have to start to focus in my life. I should make a goal for myself to follow.

School tomorrow. Haha. Going to study now!

Hmm... It's been a tough day for me. Every time I think back about what happened I can really feel tears swelling up in my eyes. B was only 34 years old by the way. B was really a kind kind soul. He was the kind of guy most girls would want to marry. I'm sure A must be very sad now. Those who are reading this please pray for A okay. Just address her as A in your prayers and I'm sure God will understand. Just bless her with peace in her heart and just pray that she'll be able to cope with what she is going through now. Thanks you all. (:

It's seriously so so hard to be a Christian but I'm really thankful for being one. I must say I've sinned once or twice today? Argh.. I'm going to try my best to stop sinning. Oh, with regards to my earlier post, about me wanting to be Superman. I really want to make a difference in this world. I wanna stop being who I've been. The Superman part will only be a dream but you get what I mean about making a difference in this world?

Anyway, didn't study much today and POA test is so so soon. Went out with my mum, grandmother and brother. Sent my brother for tuition. Ate at Bukit Timah Plaza. Went for some foot flexology thing. Was quite cool. I like soaked my leg in this tub and it turned black due to the toxic in my body or something like that? The tub had some machine inside it though. Haha.

Went for dinner at the Hawker Centre downstairs. Played soccer with Jerome, Eugene and Jerome downstairs. Was quite fun! That's all for today!(:

This is going to sound childish but for once I wish I could be Superman.

Anyway, changed blogger time settings so now all the previous posts times are quite messed up.

Going to blog later, after dinner.

Day to remember, Reconciliation

Whenever I make a resolution, I always fail to keep it. I'm going to make every breath in my life count from now on. I don't wanna take anyone/anything for granted anymore. I want to make full use of my life. I look at my spiritual state now. It's really in a mess. I don't even act like a Christian anymore. I should never have strayed. I guess I just feel very touched by God now. I don't even know why. It's like I can hear him speaking over my shoulder "I'm in control, don't worry." Changes I want:

1) I want to go back to church
2) I want to stop taking people for granted, especially my family and friends and God
3) I want to be able to make full use of my life each day
4) I want to stop hurting the feelings of others

Ok basically this happened today.

I learnt that the loved one of my friend died today. As in really loved one, they really love each other so so much. Let's call my friend A and A's loved one B. It's like A and B are really really a happy couple. But B met with a car accident and died. Thank God that B is a christian though. And their love isn't this kind of puppy love, it's really those kind of love between husband and wife. It's really very saddening for me to see this kind of thing happening. So I sort of got this call and got the news. I really didn't know how to respond at all. My mind was like is it true? At that point in time I really didn't know how to react at all. My mind was in a total blank.

I really don't know why God allowed this to happen. But it really softened my hardened heart till the point where I cried. I could really feel God touching my heart. I don't think I cried because B died but I do feel very sad for him. I could just feel my heart softening and softening.. To be honest, I've really hardened my heart quite alot ever since I've stopped going to church. Of course I didn't intentionally harden my heart but I guess not feeling the presence of God for so long really caused it. I'm not 100% certain but on after thought I really feel that that is God at work. In a way, it's like all of a sudden I saw things that I've already knew but never seen it that way. Suddenly the Sichuan earthquake, the Myanmar cyclone came to my mind. I knew many people died but it never really stood out to me like it was non of my concern. But at that moment I just felt like "Oh my gosh Lincoln, you're damn damn self-centered. So many people are dying and you've been here for the past don't know how many years wasting your life just letting yourself rot." Honestly as I'm typing this I'm really crying like mad. I'm really a failure. I really don't know why but right now, I really feel that it's the work of God softening my heart. It also never occurred to me how sad the people of the victims of the natural disasters were. You know it's like so damn obvious that they'll be sad and the worst part is it never really occurred to me as I was so distant from it. That's how hardened my heart was. To be honest, never once did I feel thankful that Singapore had no natural disasters. It was just sort of a norm to me. And sad to say yesterday I just said "Oh my F***ing God!" I said where no one was around so it's like no one knows and I felt ok about it yesterday. But today that feelings is really killing me. I honestly wish I could take that back. I've really started to lose control of my tongue and it's really starting to hurt God, my family and currently not yet but maybe soon my friends? Thats why yesterday I just quarreled with my mum and it only occurred to me as a big thing today. Almost all this thoughts came to me just TODAY so you can imagine how cold I've been on the inside.

I really feel very sad for A. I don't know B personally but I DO KNOW THAT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE CAME TO SUCH AN ENDING but it happened. I really want to dedicate this day as the day I come back to Christ. And really, if B hadn't had passed on I'm not sure whether the day where I rededicate my life to Christ would have come so I know not many people would read this, I want to thank B so so much.

Dear B, you might never read this. But I really want to thank you so much. I really wish you didn't have to pass away like that but it happened. I don't know you personally but I do know that you are a great person. I wish you all the best in heaven and you'll forever be in my heart. You know, if you had not passed on today, this might not have happened to me at all. I don't know how to put it but in a way, God used your death to bring me life. There's nothing I can do about your passing on but I will definitely not let you die for nothing. (I didn't know how to phrase the previous sentence in a better way so it may make me sound like a bad guy but I hope you get what I mean?) B, if not for you today wouldn't have happened in this way and I will definitely try my utmost best to grow strong in Christ. I know you would want A to be happy and move on and I hope that as A says A's final goodbye to you, you'll let her know how much you love her and I can assure you though at times it may not appear that A loves you, I can promise you that she loved you so so much. Enjoy your time in heaven, B. Cheers!

God, I really hope that I won't stray from you ever again. Sorry for all the sins I've commited. Love you.

I finally know You do everything for a reason.

Life, what a cruel thing

Hmm.. What is there to say. Life is seriously a very fragile thing. One moment it's there, the next day it's gone. Nothing happened directly towards me though. But I've witnessed yet another person losing their loved ones. Why does God keep doing this to people? Or is it even him doing all these at all. Look at all the disasters. Isn't God supposed to be in control? If he is then why is he doing all these? Doesn't really make much sense to me. Of course I still believe in God it's just that sometimes I really doubt his intentions. Sometimes I really wonder if God is really like the God I learn about in church or if there is even a God at all. At times it's really hard to believe in God. Why does God remove the loved ones of people? To make the victims stronger? To I don't know what? But at the cost of what, someone's life? Is it God that removes life or what. I'm not even certain of that. Sometimes I wonder why all this shit happens to people all around the world. Everytime like someone i know dies even if not related closely to me I always end up crying. I don't know why. I really hate the sense of death near me.

*Edit*

Self-denial is really the most effective coping mechanism there is besides God.

Hmm.. Quite a productive day today.

Err, studied and had fun today. Spent quite a fair bit of time with my brother today. Did all that I was supposed to do for today's E-Learning day.

Soccer at Anfield. Ok I suppose.

Haiz.. Quarreled with my mum. I was like playing Winning Eleven and she came in why you didn't study. I always see you playing. She really doesn't see me studying at all and thats bad. Next time I'm gonna play in the day and study at night!

I just found something sick out. YUCKS!

I'm proud of myself. I've been posting consistently for quite awhile now. Like 2 months? Anyway, I started this blog since Secondary 2 and it's been an on and off thing. Like I'll post for a few months then stop, then continue again. Really looking back at some of the posts makes me feel embarrassed, some makes me laugh at myself in my mind and there are others that cause me to reflect on my life. I hope I can be consistent this time round?

Today didn't do much. Accompanied my mum and brother to go swimming thats all. Haha. Short post today!

What a Saturday.

Studied in the morning basically. Noon time was play time for me. Continued my Arsenal dream youth team. Fabianski, Da Costa, Anton Ferdinand, Marcelo, Micah Richards, Anderson, Fabregas, Walcott, Quaresma, Van Persie, Bendter and other youth players. It's really nice to see their stats grow. Did I mention the misunderstanding with Alexander Benedict Yan? Ok, actually the misunderstanding is very minor but it is a misunderstanding to me. It was about the soccer competition. I was like "I want a fixed keeper, can you imagine if they say scorer becomes keeper. No motivation to score." Then he was like thats the wrong thinking. I forgot to say during the competition only and that I don't mind that rule in a normal game at Anfield cause it's like I'm going to that competition to win. But anyway, glad it's ok now. That's like my first misunderstanding with him.

Went to the hospital today to visit my aunt. Apparently something went wrong with her womb. Ouch. She's ok now. Oh, it was Mt. Elizabeth Hospital. I used to stay there alot when I was young. Like even if I had fever, my mum would send me there. Went to Paragon for dinner.

Met Eugene and Joel downstairs on the way home. Played soccer downstairs. Yea, the police came thanks to the second floor lady. What a !@$@$$#$@@$@$!#@!,$%!$%#@%$^#%$,@#! She's really irritating. Blisters on my leg now though. Ouch!

Oh yea, I'm either gonna support Netherlands or Portugal for the Euro 2008.

Today was kind of fun. Met up with Ding Chun, Lina, Mei & Serene for the LMS project. The presentation was straight away after the discussion and it was like almost Lina prepared everything. Thanks Lina for helping us so much. The presentation was quite easy except for the acting part but thank God we managed to do it well. Class ended early.

Escorted Sir Jerome Chua to Queensway to get his new boots. The people in the shop were really in awe of him. They passed him a ball and asked him to show his skills and you should have seen it, he did some unknown trick which is really damn fast. So in the end he got the boots at half price for the great show. His new boots is really the most IN thing in the soccer world. Checked out the Nike website and immediately after Jerome got that pair the rest went out of stock. Heard Nike is making a "Jerome" edition of that boots. Cool right. Went to eat Subway after that. He tricked me that he was eating so in the end I ate alone.

Nothing much happened today. Channel 8 shows are becoming more sadistic first The Truth and now Rhythm of Life. At first Rhythm of Life was good until the sadistic part came along. Also this is the first time I've seen a kissing scene in a Channel 8 show. As in those kind of intense kissing.

Watched Spiderman 2 on AXN just now and Mary Jane is seriously a bitch. I can give you 3 reasons.

1. She dumped that astronaut guy to be with Peter Parker.
2. After Spiderman saved her, she hugged that astronaut guy even though she still loves Peter Parker leading the astronaut on.
3. And girls are bitches and since Mary Jane is a girl, she is a bitch.

Well, so much for I don't wanna Warcraft in lecture anymore. Just did it again today. Hopefully, the last time though. Didn't even listen during lecture at all. Haven't been doing tutorials too for this week. From what I see I'm sliding down the failure path and it feels sucky but the worst part is I ain't doing anything about it. Ain't doing shit sounds nicer.

Macroeconomics tutorial after that. The tutor is actually a nice person, just that during lecture it's really quite noisy. Well, let's see. Business Law tutorial after that. Got back the test results, 18/20. Thankfully I changed B,C,C,C,B into C,C,C,C,B. Oh yea, I'm ok with my class in the Mighty Four (so they call themselves that. I'm tempted to call them Mighty ****s but I'm not gonna say it) But seriously, the vulgarities run out from people's mouth like water.

Gave Fairfield Dota Thursday a miss. Went home. I played soccer alone again downstairs. This time there was a couple sitting at the steps but I didn't really bother about them and just did my own stuff.

People in this world really try to take each other down alot, I'm sure everyone is both a victim and a culprit of such actions.

Hah! Had DSS presentation today in school. Wasn't really prepared but did fine thankfully. Hmm.. lecture was again Dota. Honestly, I really want to stop this crap but I really have no discipline. Not really connected with my class yet and I don't think it would be an easy task. They're nice people though, don't get me wrong. It's just me. Gave POA lecture a miss cause honestly I wouldn't even listen and I had to wait 3 hours for the lecture to start.

Played soccer at Anfield and played really badly. Worst game of 2007-2008 for me. Or maybe second worst. But it seriously sucked. I couldn't even get past a single person. Haha. But that's beside the point. I'm not going to give the off-form excuse but I seriously sucked today. Argh.. but it's like crap la.

Sorry Alden for not making it today but I'm sure you all will have fun. Sorry. Should I stay up for the match? It's like 2:36am now. Feel like sleeping though. Go Chelsea! Hope you guys win!

Quite a tiring day for me today. Lincoln's typical Tuesday. Day started of with DSS Quiz. I 1v1 someone in Dota after the quiz and I had a hard time. I was losing but I died once while killing him at the sametime and once by accident when somebody pressed F10 on my laptop. After that POA test. 32.5/50. Sucks big time. After that Dotaed again while waiting for the quiz to end and this time I owned.

Anyway lunched with some of the class. I chose to go with them instead of Alex and Joel for a few reasons. I had to wait an hour which I didn't mind if I did and I get to Dota with my class people after that. Haha. So played Dota at OurSpace after that.

Business Law lecture was Dota time again. Oh man.. Anyway, didn't even listen at all during lecture. Argh.. Err.. Alex who was the top scorer ah?

Ok after that went to SP. Met quite a few people on the way there. Joanna, Conrad and Jerene. So in the end Jerome didn't get his boots and I got my Converse shoe and a new soccer ball. I used Nets to pay. Cool ei. I used it once before but I seriously don't like to Nets stuff.

Went home and went downstairs to play soccer by myself. I think I found what I always do wrong when I shoot!!

Don't really wanna blog about yesterday. I skipped church for fun. And my handphone screen cracked. And I played mahjong with my family too.

Today was basically soccer at Telok Blangah. It was quite fun. Wore my mecurial. I'm used to it already as in I won't feel weird wearing it. Played with a team I didn't know today. It was fun. Really learned alot by playing with them. The weather was quite hot though. Next time I go there I'm going to drink lots of water before that. Anyway after that went to McDonalds with the soccer people and I went home to study.

Finished DSS at last. There's some test on DSS tomorrow and I'm not really prepared. Not to mention the POA test. Ahh... Haven't really been doing my tutorial work. Sian... Looks like I'm gonna mug till quite late tonight.

My laptop battery runs out like water. 10% per 10 minutes? Lol. Draw backs of having a 15.4" screen.

I'm going to make it a point not to have feelings for the opposite sex. That does not mean I'll be gay! It justs means I'm going to be damn cool. Kidding! Portsmouth just won Cardiff! Woo!! Too bad Defoe was cup tied and couldn't play or it would have been a much better match.

Here in this Diary

Long and tiring day today.

Went with Jerome to Queensway. Alex was supposed to come but he had to go send his brother for some class I think. Anyway, Jerome went there to look at his future boots. You all better watch out people.. I went to Converse to find the shoe that I wanted and it's really astounding that one of that kind of shoe costs close to 70 dollars? Crazy right? I honestly rather buy from Bata the $19.90 shoe.

After that went straight to Funan to meet my mum to get my new laptop. Had lunch at Swensense before that. So in the end, I chose between the small and compact and average performance HP dv3000, the large and bulky 15.3" Sony FZ-37 which is quite cool, ASUS which is a brand from Taiwan so that was easy to kick out of my decisions. Eventually, got the Sony FZ-37 based on the reliability of the brand Sony. I know I know, my old Sony laptop was quite screwed up but that was just a design fault. I checked to make sure this model does not have the same hold down lag problem. I hope I checked properly or I'll be pissed! Oh ya, it costed $2999 which is $1000 cheaper than my previous one. I can't believe it man, my mum offered to buy me the $4699 one. I was seriously quite tempted by it actually but decided to settle for the $2999. I got a $149 earphone too! Argh! I regret man, should have gotten the cheaper one cause the difference in quality between the $89 one and the $149 one isn't that much. From my point of view, definitely not worth the $60 difference. But it's ok, I have learnt my mistake.

Went home and was supposed to play pool with Jerome. Went down with him to take some photos. He is a total Peter Parker wanna be. Don't worry I didn't cam whore. Anyway instead of playing pool we went downstairs to play soccer. Wearing my Mecurial Vapour is seriously a curse. I don't feel comfortable wearing it. Not the leg uncomfortable, more of an image uncomfortable. Haha.

Hopefully I'll go church tomorrow. The moment I read Alex blog about POA needing to study my heart sank. It's true and yet I don't wanna study!

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up.

Today is a good day!

Well, had the comfort of waking up late since school started at only 1pm. Ok, had breakfast and went to Queensway Shopping Centre to get shoes with Leroy, Alex and Alden. Good company. Well, went there at 10.45am but the stores only opened at 11.30am. Waited by the three of them playing football manager. So, Alden got the black Tempo! Good choice, you won't regret it. It will be good while it lasts. It's gonna be the best shoe you ever got. Haha. Alex didn't get his shoe in th end. He should have gotten the black and green Total 90 today. (Is it called Total 90? I'm not sure about the name) He didn't even get the Puma. I got the red Mecurial Vapor. It was abit hard to choose between the orangey yellow or the hot red. Got the hot red in the end and I don't regret it. Can't wait to wear it. Lunched at Subway after that. Italian BMT ftw! (Ftw means for the win, something Leroy thought me just a few days back) And please I didn't say fuc* at Subway ok, I said freak! You guys heard wrongly. I only say that word when I see certain ACJC people or when I'm really pissed off.

Cabbed to school after that for Life Management Skills. Went the slightly late though. (At around 1.05pm?) Yea, anyway I really like my LMS group. There is DC, Mei, Lina and Serene. All are from Business Studies except for Serene who is from Tourism. Really had fun with them.

Decided to play soccer after that. Well, today is like a super coincidental day for Serene and I. Felt coincidental for me at least. Please don't get the wrong idea though! She already has a boyfriend and my heart is still with.... Jesus. XOXO It was like Serene and I went into the lift and she asked me where I was going. Then I said Dover and she was going there too. So we took the same bus. Then we were talking about lots of stuff like our Secondary School, which church we're from and stuff like that. Then we talked about where we stayed. So she stayed at Heritage View. She stopped at Singapore Polytechnic there. So I called Alex and asked where Leroy and him were and they said at JJs house. I asked where and Alex said Heritage View. Coincidental right. Her first choice for the school thing was ACJC Arts which was heavily influenced by her tutor. Its good to know that I'm not the only person living "my" kind of life. I was sort of forced to put ACJC science as my first choice. Thus this coincidental day thing. I might sound like I like her but please don't get me wrong. I'm sure you all won't though cause the readers here are my good friends and I'm sure you know me better. (:

Went to JJ's blessed house. His house has a PS3, XBox 360 and a Wii. Best part is his room has a freaking toilet!! Argh, I want one! Went down to Anfield first to practice. I definitely want to master the ****e* as soon as possible. I realised something about my soccer now though. Almost every move I make is sort of based on instinct already which I really don't know is good or bad. From my point of view, I played overall quite well today except for the later part where my dribbles sort of screwed up. I nearly sprained my leg twice today though. Ouch!

On a more serious note. Alex today, you were seriously more arrogant than usual. Go ask Jerome, I'm quite sure he'll agree with me on that. I'm saying all this as a friend ok and really really no offense we all have our flaws and I'm just telling you really as a friend. I may or may not be right but... thats what I feel. And I said exceptionally cause you said you were arrogant.

Ok, I'm really thankful for (Alphabetical order) Alden, Alex and Jerome. They're really really great friends.

I met Alden in Primary 4 and at that time I was like you like Shumei ah? Then he'll be like who is Shumei? Wasn't really close to him back then but after Secondary 2,3 and 4, look where we are.

Meeting Alex was a super weird story. If I'm not wrong, it was in Secondary 3 during the sports day. Jerome sort of introduced us to each other. But my first sentence to him was "Who do you like?" and he went like "Joy Yeo." That was the start of our friendship and I'm quite sure you don't regret saying Joy Yeo. I told you I liked *o***a L** also ok.

Jerome is seriously like the oldest friend I have. Close to the end of K2 which means when we were around 5 years old? At the end of this year we would have been friends form around 12 years already!

Really thank God for all this close friends I have. I really treasure you all! God bless you in your mission trip Alden!!

Well, nothing much happened yesterday just that my iPod crashed.

Hmm.. I'm not really connected with my class and I don't know if I will ever be. There is this 2 people who are saying vulgarities the entire day. Honestly, if I'm not wrong, 7 out of 10 sentences contain vulgarities. Almost everyone in my class says the F word and I can feel the negativity of it spreading to me. I pray that I will be able to control my tongue. So its like every 8 minutes I hear a vulgarity. Sometimes I say it to, sad to say.

Well, school was basically the same with the exception of Business Law test. Yeap.

Well, today was kind of normal. Had tutorials, lectures etc.

Went to Anfield for soccer after that.

I know my posts are kind of short recently but bear with it, I really have too much stuff to do.

Nothing much happened today just that I have finally gave my laptop back to Sony.

Alex told me to take this test and it's so damn true..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Even the "In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now." is true in the sense that I've never really looked at marriage yet unlike Alex and Jerome.

Alright. Didn't go church this week and basically stayed at home and tried to catch up on my homework. My desktop crashed!! I'm like the dumbest idiot. I deleted the anti-virus to be able to play Half-Life 2 thinking that I would never catch virus but here i am wishing I didn't uninstall it! Refomatted my hard drive and the problem is solved. But I can't seem to be able to install MSN Messenger!

Man United won the title.

Ok, lots of stuff happened today.

Firstly sorry Jerome for being unable to make it for your project. Well, had to bring my brother, Trevor for tuition at Bukit Timah Plaza. Left home at 10.15am so we reached there at 10.30am. Walked around with my brother to Popular and other places there. Sent him to class and since I couldn't find a place to sit down to do my work, I went to practice pool on my own. It was quite fun especially since I played with a stranger. Ok, he was sitting on the couch waiting for his friend so I walked up and asked him, "Hey, wanna play?" Eventually he said yes. It was a fun match. I won the match but it was a close call. He had like two taiko shots one after the other and one more taiko shot after that. I wanted to bring up the "Taiko no count rule" but in the end didn't. I did alot of good shots non of them taiko. One trick shot as well. Haha. In the end he cleared all his balls and had the black ball left while I had still one more ball to go. He tried a trick shot but missed so I got a free ball. The black ball and my ball were at both ends but in the end I set up for the last shot quite well and won. I could tell that he didn't expect me to be that good and I know he still thinks he is better than me which could be possible. While playing pool, my mum gave me a call that my grandmother fell down. I didn't know how to respond but after my brother's tuition my mum would come to have lunch and bring us to the hospital. Met Brandon at the pool place as well. Brandon is my Red Cross senior and is older than me by a year. He totally couldn't recognise me at all until I said hi to him.

Anyway went for lunch and went to Alexandra hospital. Thank God that my grandmother is fine. I was really quite worried for her. Waited there for quite awhile and then went back to my grandmother's house while my mum and brother went to meet my cousin at Paragon.

After that went home. Ok, there was this super big prank that Tai Li pulled. He was like, do you know that Raymond's mom died yesterday to Timothy. And then Timothy told Kenneth. And then Kenneth told me. Well in the end Tai Li was bullshitting about..

Well, gave school a miss today. Already spread my cough to one person. And the coughing is really quite bad. My chests hurts when I cough too. Well, went to see the doctor in the morning.

Then Jerome came in the afternoon to do stuff.

Ok then in the evening, Katerine called and liked explained the situation on the DSS project which happens to be due next week. Thankfully she called and we met at Bukit Merah Library to do the project. Completed my task at last. Many thanks to Katerine. But it was awkward for me. I seriously hate being with the opposite sex one on one.

Well, I feel like I should have gone school. It's like I don't even know the reasons why I'm not going. Is it because I'm scared I spread my sickness to others? (The thought did come to my mind) or was it because I was just plain lazy. The mind is such a confusing thing.

Today I didn't play Dota in lecture! Purposely left my notebook uncharged so I won't be able to play it. I could have played but for just 20 minutes though which is as good as not playing. Macroeconomics lecture it was! Learned quite a fair bit. After that was on to Macroeconomics lecture. 4 hours of macroecons can be a bore. Really quite hard to concentrate.

Had lunch break with Fairsians today. Then Business Law lecture. Had to do some presentation and I was quite unprepared but thank God I managed to do okay in the end.

After that was basically just Dota Thursday with Fairsians. Owned quite alot though my team lost AGAIN. I always own but I always lose in the end.

Hmm.. Sick with bad sore throat/cough. It seriously hurts.

What a day it is. Was actually. Same routine, woke up at 7.20am showered and off to school! I've been thinking alot recently about those good old Fairfield days. It would be wake up at 5.50am, bathe, go down to Jerome's house at 6.20am and if he is asleep wake him up. His uncle then drives us to school and we enter the gate to school. Ahh.. Those were the days. And then I will meet Fairsians at the covered place and we will sit there and copy homework, piss Matthew off, look at Alden catching glimpses of ****, Alex acting like some "Dua Pai" cause he gotta collect the register. Kidding about that "Dua Pai" part. Joel gaying about. People studying. I have to admit single time I went to the locker, I went with the hopes of meeting her and 2 out of 10 times I really do meet her. Most of the time I will know when I'm going to meet her and I will plan what to do/say. Crafty eii!

Hmm.. Those days seems so far now. I'm not very close with my poly class yet though. There is like this Elite 4 thing where they are like the pro clique. To some of my classmates I am anti-social cause I keep disappearing during lectures etc. But I made some interesting friends there. Ok lecture was Dota time again. Sadly. Ok, for project I was like stuck with 4 girls. My gosh man.. It was seriously quite awkward for me. At first, I thought what would people think of me. Like was I some flirt or maybe some sissy. Lol. But in the end I was reminded that I don't have to really care what people think of me as long as I know myself. Sometimes its hard.

Well, soccer at Anfield was sian cause of the Sepak Takrau gang. They are really quite irritating but yet somewhere deep inside I kind of pity them cause its like a free court and all and we are really being quite an ass at times. Well... Gotta do Macroecons!! Save me!

Sometimes I really read to deep into things. I think the way I think is very complicated and in the end the way I think ends up hurting myself. No, I did not hurt myself today but I keep looking back at my life and realise I really read to deep into things.

What an emo day.

Day started off well. Had the usual DSS workshop which wasn't that much of a bore due to CS. I played 1 hour and listened 1 hour when the rest of the stuff was not important. I know how to prioritize ok. Well people are starting to say that my hair is emo which is totally not. Anyway after DSS was POA tutorial which was quite interesting. The teacher is quite cool. He allowed us to bring food in.

Well, had a 2 hour break. Went to OurSpace with half the class and played Dota and CS. Dota was good. Lightning reverent owns. I picked it at first then for the next round I randomed it.

Business Law lecture was crazy. Played Dota again and Alex's lion was totally owning the game. Don't ask me how. (:







Today is seriously an emo day for me. I asked people why are Jay Chou songs emo during class and on the way back I was listening to Jay Chou songs and everyone around me in the bus was like boy girl boy girl boy girl and I was sitting alone. Lol. Guess who I met too to top it off with more EMOness.

Sometimes your day goes so well and one bitch comes and screw it all up. Want to kao pei kao pei then you kao pei back you get kao peied. What the hell right? What goes around comes around man.

So much work to do. Anyway business management tutorial was not bad. But doing the tutorial work is really the killer. I have to buy sweets and water every morning to make sure I don't fall asleep during tutorials or lectures.

Argh lectures are getting more and more screwed. Not listening at all!! Polytechnic was not as slack as I thought after all. You can definitely feel the pressure.

List of stuff I have to do.
1) DSS Project
2) Business Law Project
3) Tutorials tutorials tutorials
4) Study!!

Hah! I went jogging today at around 7.45pm. It was quite cool. Jogged alot didn't count how long but at slightly faster than 2.4 pace for 15 minutes. Played soccer downstairs on my own for awhile. Can't shoot for nuts anymore!

Went to church today! Adult service with my family. Was great just going back to church. Going to go back for Youth Service next week. After church went to Bugis for lunch then came home and completed DSS. Thank God for my classmate! Without her, my DSS would be screwed. So I almost completed my DSS already.

You know how badly pride can screw your life up? My dad used to be a five figure earner until he felt the boss gave him no face. What the hell right?

Anyway, got into BA envoys which is going to be fun from what I feel. Really gotta start studying hard!

Spent today trying to do DSS. I wasted many hours just sitting there trying to figure out on how to go about using excel but I eventually gave up! And I wasted around 4 hours just sitting in front of the computer trying to figure out that dumb thing. Didn't even go out yesterday. Slacked. Man United won. Argh!

Hah! School started at 1pm today so it's a good thing. Managed to catch up on my sleep. Met my LMS group members. DC, Serene, Mei and I don't know the other girl's name. I'm going to find out though.

After school went to OurSpace to meet up with the DSS group. There's really alot for me to do now. Went to play soccer at Anfield and here I am now.

Things I must do
1) All my tutorial work which is like 4 or 5 modules?
2) DSS Project
3) DSS Assignment
4) Start on GTAIV

DSS is seriously the bitc*! It really pisses me off just doing that module all that dumb excel nonsense!

Ok there's alot for me to catch up on.

30/4/08-Wednesday

Can't remember much about that day just that after school, Leroy, Alex and I went to Anfield to play soccer and after that they came over to stay over. Played pool at Depot Road and was really off form. Really disappointed at myself. But form is something I can never control so it's like ARGH! After that went to Macdonald's for a late dinner as Botak Jones was close.

Alden met us and Alex had to go cause of his father. Played abit of Dota with them. Watched the Chelsea vs Liverpool match which Chelsea won!! Not that I support Chelsea or anything but too many people wanted Liverpool to win and I don't really like Liverpool. We took turns to sleep during the match. Then after each goal someone would shout and we would all wake up. Ended up sleeping at 5.15am? Late huh!

1/5/08-Thursday

Woke up at 8.30am so I only had 3 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. Went to Telok Blangah to play soccer and it felt good! It's been a long time since I've been there to play and it really reminds me of the Secondary School days. This time round the Anfield people came but hopefully next time it would be the "Telok Blangah Starting Eleven" Jerome, Wesley, Alex, Alden, Brian, Caleb, Kei Fer, Spencer, Mok, err I can't remember the rest but you get what I mean. Really felt good playing there again. Got sun burnt especially when my skin is super sensitive right now since I'm under some stupid medication!

After that more than 10 people came to my house to bathe. Crazy right? I totally didn't know they were coming or I would have made preparations for their arrival. Played mass Dota and Pro Evolution! Was very fun but my house was in a total mess. After that went to watch Iron Man at Lido. Not bad a show but had many faults too. Like how was the bad guy able to use that Iron Monger amour. I just feel that something is missing from the movie that is in the comics/cartoon.