Happy new year

It's like 11:20pm here so happy new year to you guys back in Singapore in 3 hours 40 minutes time! I totally forgot that today is New Year's Eve until Alex told me. Sure doesn't feel like New Year's Eve to me. Honestly, it just feels like any other day. I am no longer feeling the magic of holidays.

Anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

11:20pm

Champagne Supernova

Went to some train called Puffing Billy today. It's basically just a steam train but you get to seat right on the edge of the window when it's moving. It was very cold as the wind would be blowing against you but I guess it was fun. Didn't take much photos today though.

I had quite alot of alcohol today cause we went to various wineries. I wouldn't say that wine isn't nice to drink it's just that I would rather drink juice then wine. We really got to taste so many different varieties. I guess my favorite one would be the Moscato (Thanks Kym for reminding me!) as it's slightly sweeter. We tasted sparkling wine too which was ok.

Really didn't do anything worth blogging after that.

Back in Singapore I was really a procrastinator. I don't know if I would be one now but I'm trying not to be one. Procrastination was something that I would do every single day. I would do my homework late, study for tests the day before and stuff like that. I really hope I can change that point about me cause if I procrastinate here my results would definitely be below par. Please pray for me with regards to that ok?

I'll try to keep my posts longer in the future but for now I gotta go. If I'm not wrong there will be a city tour tomorrow.

10:30pm

The wind blows

This few days is super windy!! Today was free & easy which means I got to wake up later which was good considering I've been sleeping for less than 6 hours a day for the past few days.

Let's see what I did today.. Went to Hungry Jack's for breakfast. It's actually Burger King with another name. I see Whoppers on the menu. Anyway after breakfast, went to NAB (It's an Australian bank) to set up a bank account. The interest per annum 5% per year which is quite alot as compared to Singapore.

Really didn't do anything much today. We went to Queen Victoria Market which was closed at 4pm. I guess that the highlight of today was that I got an iPhone! They sell it contractless here! I got the white color model. The only bad part is that I've got to pay $120 to unlock it so I can use it in Singapore. I must remember to Gmask it in Singapore.

Gotta sleep already cause tomorrow there is some tour and I've got to wake up at 6am. See you soon =]

Connections are more dangerous than lies

l

Ok, actually this is like the 7.30pm sky! Bright?



The Caesar Salad was super nice!




This photo was taken in Vietnam! Wow, I really had alot of fun there. Of course that's another one of Jerome's talents, golfing.



This was the theme park I was talking about, you get the idea?



If I'm not wrong this is another picture of London Bridge



London Bridge



I remember studying this in Geography but I forgot what it's called already



This was taken at Great Ocean Road, I love that place!



Nice?



At around 7pm the sky looks something like this, maybe slightly darker

Well, uploaded some of the many photos that I have on hand. It really takes a long time to upload. Anyway, today was a tiring day. Tour was from 8am-9pm. We went to the Grampians National Park! I'll upload the photos of there at a later date. I enjoyed the trip because we were among nature the whole day. Kind of reminded me of Sabah minus the humidity. Can you imagine it? It's a really nice place and only photos can describe it.

On the coach today I dozed off and had this dream of Alex and Jerome. It was pretty random. I was in Singapore and we went to some hotel lobby to transfer money to Joanna then I was running after some bus while the 2 of them were on it. Random right? My dreams are really really random!

Life in Australia is becoming pretty normal for me. I think adapting to the pace of life here won't be much of a problem as it's not as fast paced as compared to Singapore. I'll blog again soon but I just want to ask for prayer requests? Can you please pray that I'll be able to fully commit my studies to God and that I'll be blessed with wisdom and most importantly DISCIPLINE throughout this period? Thanks alot! =] See you all soon!

Boston...

Damn.. I can't seem to upload photos cause the upload rate at night is so slow. Anyway, yesterday I went to the Great Ocean Road. I must say that I had alot of fun yesterday. The sights that I saw yesterday was super good. Jerome, you and your SLR will own the place upside down. Just look at his abundant talents. Soccer, guitar, piano now photography? What's next from you? Haha. I really hope I can upload the photos soon though. Anyway yesterday was a pretty long day. It lasted from like 8am-8pm. There's really nothing I feel like blogging about yesterday because pictures speak louder than a thousand words. Haha! Basically I went to the 12 Apostles, London Bridge and some other places.

Today we went to Soverign Hill. It's like some theme park. Not exactly those kind of theme park that you would imagine but it's based on the mining industry of Australia in the past. Honestly, there was nothnig much to do there but it was still fun cause some of the attractions were fun and there was this pretty girl too. The people there are really beautiful. Of course I don't go to the extent of lusting but I really find them beautiful. Of course the Singaporean girls are pretty too but in a different way. This trip has allowed me to be closer to my cousin too. She is doing her degree right now so I can really seek advice from her.

I went jogging today!! It's really nice jogging here cause it's not too hot and the wind keeps blowing against you. If I continue the way I am now without exercising I would definitely coming back a fatter person.

Yay! I'm almost halfway through Destined to Reign already. It's a really good book and you should go grab it at a bookstore. It's by Pastor Prince of New Creation. Thanks Jerome for introducing me the book. Alex, I'll read the book when they new year starts so I'll be following it accordingly.

When I was in FCBC I really believed in their teachings totally but after reading the book I realised that thought it may not be wrong it's not the best. Read the book and it'll change everything. Trust me, I've only read half and it has helped me so much already.

Had Vietnamese food in the city for dinner. The next time I come back to Singapore I'll try to get some really nice doughnuts for you guys. Alex don't drool!! (:

1 question I really want to find the answer to is 'Why am I wearing the cross?" Before I left, some friends gave me a cross to wear and I really treasure it alot, maybe for the wrong reasons. I am definitely not wearing it as a fashion accessory cause I'm not a fan of those kind of stuff. I really don't know why I am wearing it and I wanna find the answer out so I'm definitely going to find some time to reflect on it.

Oh and my new number is +6132383188! Save it if you want to k? Thanks! If possible I'll put up some photos tomorrow. Yay! Today I managed to talk to a few people! Christabel, Edmund, Jerome and Wen Zhao. 'It only 4 days since you left but it feels like so long already.' That's so true, it definitely feels like I've been here for a long long time today. Alright, see you soon. =]

11:30pm

Have a nice day

Today was pretty fun. Took quite alot of photos so I'll blog about today another day when Optus finally activates my broadband. It's like 12.35am here and those that I wanna talk to aren't online!!

I'll blog some stuff about my walk next time to. Today's gonna just be surfing around the web since it's so late already.

With You

You know what I should be doing? Instead of thinking about what's gonna happen in a few days time I should just make full use of today. I only have 7 minutes plus to blog now unless I pay another 2 bucks. I mean all I've been thinking about it what is going to happen when my family leaves Australia and how I'm going to survive alone. I barely know how to wash my own clothes so it really makes me wonder what life is going to be like in the near future. However, I should really be trying to spend and enjoy my time here with my family while we still have the time with each other.

I got my Australian number already so unless I'm in Singapore I won't be using my Singapore sim card so you can sms or call me at (I'll edit this next time once I remember the number). Oh wells, I really hope I get my internet soon too. I just got some wireless broadband router which sadly hasn't been activated yet or I'll be in my hotel room blogging instead of wondering if people are peering right behind my shoulder which my cousin just did..

Again, nothing much happened today. Went back to the city for some shopping and food. There will be tour tomorrow though, if I'm not wrong it will be some ocean walk which should be fun. Gotta wake up real early tomorrow. I only have like 1 min 50 seconds left!! I tihnk I'll just top it up, hold on.

Ok, I'm back. I really have nothing much to blog about today. I really wish I would be able to upload pictures. Hopefully the company activates my mobile broadband tomorrow. Anyway, life here in Australia seems pretty different. There's definitely alot more walking as compared to Singapore and instead of buses they mostly use trams. Lifestyle cost here is definitely more expensive too.

I'm definitely not feeling as sad as yesterday but neither am I feeling happy today. I'm seriously missing my friends alot. I would say I treasure my friends more than my extended family. Is this natural? I guess this is because I spend more time with my friends.

Some stuff I really want to do before my school term starts

1) Commit my studies to God
2) Prepare myself to devote more time to God

Ok, better I shall think of some new year resolutions to put before the year comes to an end.

1) Stop smoking.. (Kidding! Lol)
2) Study hard and achieve at least a score of 98% for my final result at the end of the year (It's really possible although it might sound impossible)
3) Really build up my relationship with God (I'm not saying that I'll be going church every week though it'll be good that I can go)
4) Chat/Video conference with my friends at least once a week
5) Build closer bonds with my family (This might be hard as I won't physically be with them)
6) Enjoy each moment possible with my friends when I'm back in Singapore

Right now I really believe that with God anything is possible. I remember Jerome's father telling me that whenever I have problems I should just commit it to God because that's the best solution. It's a totally different case on my end. Whenever I have a problem I think of ways to solve them and going to God is usually the 3rd or 4th thing I would tihnk of doing. I really have to change that and just learn to commit stuff to God.

Guys! I don't see you all online whenever I come online! The time difference here is like 3 hours earlier so I hope we can meet online soon.

10:18pm

First day here

Alright, today is like my first day in Melbourne. I must say that it's much colder than I had expected. Today's temperature was about 17 degres celcius which was pretty shocking for me considering that it's summer right now. I'm at the hotel lobby right now as internet access in the room is charged at 55 cents per minute but at the lobby it's like $2 for 15 minutes. The plane ride was pretty boring.. I was expecting them to show Twilight but they didn't so I ended up watching The Dark Knight. It's a nice show but too bad I didn't watch it in the cinema!! (:

Touched down at about 10am Australian time and we checked into the hotel immediately before heading to check my hostel out. I won't say that my hostel is good but it's decent and I'll put pictures up when I can. It really sucks to not have your own internet man. That's something I really take for granted. Almost all the shops were closed today!! During Christmas in Singapore, all the stores are open whereas in Australia most are closed except for those in China Town so on our first day in Australia I had 2 chinese meals. Feeling pretty tired today after the plane ride and all. I'm going to sleep now. The time difference here is 3 hours faster than Singapore! I'll blog more tomorrow if I get the chace to use the computer.

Honestly I'm feeling pretty down but I'm really trying my best to hide it from my family. Just knowing that I won't be going back to Singapore anytime soon is pretty depressing. I seriously miss all my friends. I really feel quite emo to the point where I may just cry. (I said before, I cry easily) I really can't wait for the chance to be able to head back to Singapore! Once my family heads back to Singapore, life's going to get pretty lonely.

I've got a few messages for some people.

Firstly Alex! I got your message today but I wasn't able to see it. Apparently my phone has some problem now, even the touch screen isn't working. So can you tell me what the message was about the next time we talk? It was like they show Alex Yan sent you a message but in my inbox there is no message.

Now Jerome! I've starting reading the book already! Thanks for it. I can really feel that something in me deep inside is changing. I know that if I don't make the effort to get closer to God things aren't going to be easy so I'm trying. (:

To you! (You know who you are) We never meant for things to turn out this way I know but I believe that God didn't let this happen for nothing. I truly love you as a friend and just the thought that I've hurt you eats me up inside. I know you'll say don't feel bad but I really do feel bad. You don't deserve to feel like this. You deserve someone who will make you happy and who can give you what you want. Don't feel sad when you read this ok? I've got this feeling that we'll be friends for a long long time.

Alden! I heard that you had a hard time choosing the cross for me! Wow, I must say that I was pretty shocked to recieve such a gift but I'm really happy. I remember in the past I always wanted to get one but I never dared to ask my mum to get me one. I've got no idea why. Just by wearing the cross makes me feel different. It makes me remeber that there is someone REAL up there caring for me. Thanks for the gift! And of course the 2 of you who contributed as well. (I know who you are) =]

I'm really happy that my friends sent me off. I'm really blessed to have friends like you all and thanks for coming yesterday, you guys and gal really touched my heart. Thank goodness I prepared myself or I may have cried. Thanks for the gifts.

I remember saying that I'll blog something about myself once I'm in Australia? I'll do that soon ok? And please don't be afraid to tag my blog when you read it ok? I really wanna hear from you guys. I just spent 4 bucks on internet and looks like now I only have about 7 minutes left. I really love all of you guys and you guys are almost always on my mind. Yes, all of you. I'll try to blog soon so see you! (:

11:40pm

Fly away

Alright, my flight leaves in about 5 hours 40 minutes. Today, was a great day. I sort of spent my day with Alex, Jerome and Wen Zhao which was very fun for me. I've got nothing much to blog about in the sense that I don't really feel like blogging right now.

Anyway, my family would be going to Australia for holiday with me too so it won't be that bad. It's the part when they leave when everything truly begins. I honestly don't feel like I'm going on holiday and tomorrow sure doesn't feel like Christmas to me, just feels like any other day. I may not be updating for a few days so see you soon!

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

It's really amazing how fast time can pass by. Wow, today would be like the last day in a long time that I'll be lying down on my bed. Feeling pretty emo already, I really can't imagine life without my family and friends. Couldn't time go by slower??

Anyway today was a pretty long day. Went to Plaza Sing in the afternoon with Alex, Caleb and Jerome. Spent most of the time at Spotlight getting Christmas presents. I'm definitely going to miss Alex and Jerome gaying around with each other and trying to outsmart each other all the time. This really sucks.. I can feel the emo crawling on to me. Anyway, went to Telok Blangah after that with the exception of Caleb who went back to school for CCA.

Another thing I'm going to miss is the soccer at Telok Blangah!! Really enjoyed soccer today and had alot of fun especially during the last match. After that, Alex and Deric came over to bathe then Alex and I headed to Queensway first. Finally got a jacket! Was supposed to meet like Deric, Jerome, Edmund, Leroy and Yong Soo at Plaza Sing for Twilight at 940pm but we all came late so in the end we just walked around pretty much aimlessly. The bus ride to Plaza Sing with Alex was damn funny. We stopped earlier because the traffic jam was so so bad. Had dinner at Pasta Mania after that. Went home after that.. I got some pictures and I'll try to put them up tomorrow.

1 thing I've learnt is that the grass is always greener on the other side. No matter which path you take you'll definitely be bound to look back and wonder if you've made the right choices in life.

Part 2

Can you imagine someone just giving you 10 grand just like that? It's quite crazy right but I just saw it happening a few days ago. The guy couldn't even believe it! Well, today after we woke up and after Jerome and Alex were done messing we went to West Coast Plaza for lunch. Hard to imagine that a place like this was once known as Ginza Plaza! Ginza was so run down and ugly. They really revamped the place already. I used to cut my hair there! Anyway, we ate NYNY. This few days my appetite seems to be not as good as before. I have no idea why.

I've finally started packing my luggage!! Yay!! I hope I don't forget anything important. I'm definitely not done with the packing but at least I'm almost half way through. My mum finally learnt how to use MSN. Had to go to her office at night to help her fix the webcam and teach her how to use it. Dinner after that.

I don't know if I've blogged about this but 1 of the things I learnt is that your relationship with God isn't based on whether you go church or not but based on you. Your relationship with God is something based on YOU and GOD, nothing else. I'm really glad to be able to comprehend this. Some of you may know but I no longer go to church and in the past I really felt that because of that my walk went off track but now I know it's because of me and there are some things I have to change about myself in that area.

The next 1 year for me will be mostly about change. We all experience change everyday but what happens when that change is really a huge change. Haha, I'm hoping that who I am doesn't change cause of that. For one, I definitely have to change my sleeping habits.

Part 1

Didn't update yesterday as I was staying over at Alden's place. Let's see, yesterday was a great day. In the morning I finally watched the sermon that Jerome lent me. It was basically about how we have the righteousness of God in us. Really great sermon, pastor Prince is seriously a really good preacher.

Alden and Alex came in the evening cause my mum wanted to buy the 2 of them plus JC dinner. It was some Japaneses buffet. After that we went over to Alden's place. Why did Arsenal draw with Liverpool!! Nooooo!! I seriously suck at bluff. I only lie when I have to and I always get caught whenever I lie.. All in all the stay over was a good experience for me since this was the first time that I stayed over at Alden's house. Hopefully they'll do this again soon when I'm back.

I'll continue what happened today later.

Never gonna be alone

The days just seem to go by faster and faster. The closer I come to leaving, the faster time passes by. Today was a fun day in the sense that I always able to spend time with my friends. Jerome came up in the late morning and we just talked and played Guitar Hero. It's a fun game and it'll be better if I had 2 guitars. Anyway, we met Alden and Alex at Queensway after that. Alden and JC were supposed to get their new boots but they didn't get it in the end. I bought some stuff and we headed down to Anfield today.

Surprisingly there were quite a number of people today. Enough to either play field soccer or at Telok Blangah. Anyway soccer was as usual, fun. We had dinner after that. We as in Alden, Alex, Caleb Wong, Deric and Jerome.

The bus ride back with Caleb and Jerome was pretty deep. Everything I say here is based on how I feel. I'm not that close to Caleb but everytime we meet there's some parts of our life that we'll be able to share with each other. Of course we don't share everything but we share and it's great to meet him again. All those that are close to him are really blessed to have him as a friend.

I have to say that being around friends feel so much different now as I know it's only a matter of time I'll be leaving. By leaving I'll be leaving so much behind which it's really quite disheartening. I really don't wanna lose contact with those I know here which is already quite a feat to do. To make matters worse is that in a way I've got to start a new life there. Ironically that's what I always thought I wanted, being able to start afresh. But I also know that I'm never gonna be alone as long as I have God. And yes, I'm going to watch the DVD tomorrow I hope!

Bella Luna (I've got no idea what it means)

I'm not a big fan of surprises but what a pleasant surprise I had in the evening. Firstly, I would really like to thank Alex and everyone else who was involved in the planning of it. I'm really touched by you all and those who came. This goes out to those who came today, I'm really thankful that you took time out of your schedule to come today. It means a whole lot to me. So, Alden lured me to meet him at Commonwealth first before we headed to Kathib MRT. Alex then brought us to a park near there and it's a really nice play. Alot of recreational stuff to do there like prawn fishing, pool, paintball, various sports. The place is called Bottle Tree Park and if you have gone there you should try to go there with your friends one day. I'm pretty happy today. The friends who mean the most to me were all there. Of course all my other friends who came mean alot to me as well and I'm thankful for each and every one of you. (I really mean it) Alex, you told me that you tried to get 70+ people and you might feel disappointed that not all came but I just want to tell you that even if 3 people came I would be just as happy as I would be right now. I know you took alot of effort to plan this and I just want to say thank you! Basically most of the people there were just gaying about which is always a pleasure to watch. I've got some photos which I haven't gotten yet but I'll be posting them once I get it.

Honestly, I really want to migrate to some other country and leave Singapore. There are so many reasons why I wanna leave but just the very existence of my family and friends in Singapore really makes me want to change my mind. I'm leaving for Australia in like 4 days and I better damn well make full use of it or I know I'm going to regret it when I'm going to leave. Come to think of it, I haven't even packed my bag yet.. Better start soon! See ya! =]

The Remedy

Went out with my uncle, auntie and my brother and his friend today. We went for some Japanese buffet at Jurong Point. Couldn't eat much today though. You guys should seriously try it out. It's pretty affordable for the lunch and the spread there is good and the quality is good too. It's called Kuishin Bo. After that my uncle and auntie brought my brother and his friend to science centre and I headed home. The bus ride back was seriously long.

I had fun in the evening. Met with Alden and Alex at Bukit Batok to see some field for some soccer thing. Then we went to BK for dinner. The conversations I have with them is something that never happens for my other friends and they're really special people in my life. If my memory serves me right, the first sentence Alex said to me was I like Joy. Lame right.

Today I sort of officially left my cell group. I've been meaning to do that for such a long time already. I mean no point hanging there and nothing changes right? I'm sure that the reason why I'm still stuck here lies with me but there seems to be nothing I can do. Do you get that feeling? Ever since secondary 3, my spiritual life has been pretty stagnant. Nothing much has changed while my cell leader constantly puts in effort to try to communicate with me. He's been practically wasting his time on me. So what better way to make things better than leaving right? This might not seem right to you guys, but I definitely have other reasons for making such a decision. It may not be the right thing to do but I do not regret making such a choice. It's better that way since I don't leaving any loose ends this time round. Of course I know that the door is always open for me to go back. But I just want to start afresh in some Church where no one knows who I am.

This blog seriously needs some pictures..

1 more thing.. Sorry Alex for you know what!

Believe?

Nothing much happened today either. Went to Clementi to collect my lenses in the afternoon. Was supposed to go to SP to play soccer after that but I didn't go cause I was scared that my strain my get worse especially since I'm leaving so soon.

Being raised up in Singapore can either be seen as a damn good thing or a damn bad thing. Personally, I feel it's a bad thing but not a damn bad thing. If you're raised in Singapore then the priority in your life would definitely be education unless you really refuse to care about it. I believe that education is important but I also feel that Singapore over emphasizes on education too much. I feel that it's a bad thing to do that but in actuality it may not be that bad a thing. It has a super low failure rate of degrading our society in the sense that most of the people who are in the society would be really uncivilized. That's not a bad thing but I just feel that too many sacrifices have been made. I mean if someone is really talented in music but is raised in Singapore, he/she will most probably be a degree holder and would get a job in the future playing music only as a part time thing or as a hobby. Whereas if he/she were raised in for example America they would most probably be a full time musician. Can you imagine Taylor Swift having to study like 5 hours a day worrying about how to pass her 'A' Levels? I'll bet she practices singing and guitar like for more than 5 hours a day. Would Messi be where he is today if he had to go through our curriculum? With our system you'll only be able to produce 1 Stephanie Sun out of so many people but look at other countries. I'm not saying education is not important but just that if you're really talented at something you should be able to focus on that talent whereas if you're not really talented then go ahead and study hard. In Singapore do you get such a choice? No.. You (the one reading this) could be really talented at something but you're most probably stuck in a school still trying to work your way for that certificate that you're studying for. Are you truly happy doing what you're doing? But as I said earlier the way Singapore does things is a sure way of making the country progress which is ok in the eyes of many but not that ok in my eyes. You can see this with your own eyes. In America there are so many people talented in singing like all those singers you see. In terms of soccer, Spain, England, Argentina, Portugal all has their own set of stars. In Singapore we got Stephanie Sun (Yay... do you even listen to her?) and in terms of sports we got Lionel Lewis. I won't count the table tennis gals cause they are from a foreign land. Get what I mean?

(:

MY NEW RULE TO MY LIFE: BREAKING'S WHAT THE HEART IS FOR

Happy Endings

Nothing much happened again today. Went for physio in the morning. Can you imagine having to spend like 40 minutes a day having to stretch. Really takes up alot of time. Went for soccer in the evening at Anfield but not many people came so it was quite slack. Shucks, cause of Azan now my ear is super pain. Talking after soccer was more fun than playing itself.

Anyway, I'm pretty surprised about the things I say with regards to Christ now. Although most of the time I don't mean it I still say it. Makes me think if deep in my heart I mean all those stuff I said. It's like I don't even know why I say such stuff but it just appears in my head.

... Why did you tell him that I'm leaving... Oh my goodness...

Breakin'

Nothing much to blog about today but today is like the first time in my life I had acupuncture. Surprisingly it wasn't as painful as I had expected. I'm not really a fan of that kind of thing but it seems to help so I might be doing it again next time.

Met Alden, Alex and Jerome in the evening to catch a movie. I really wanted to watch Twilight but we ended up watching The Day The Earth Stood Still. The show was pretty ok although I wasn't really expecting anything about the environment. Haha. These will be the days that I'll be reminiscing about in Australia. The bus ride back was classic.

Running out of days

I went church today, but you can say that I didn't listen at all. The whole while I was talking to my friends or listening to music which is kind of rude to the speaker. I was pretty distracted today.

You know on the cab ride there I had a decent conversation with the taxi driver. I could really relate to him about the affairs going on in my home and he really shared quite alot with me too although at first he lied about some stuff. When I asked if he was married he was like yes and I found out he had a child who is a 17 year old guy. Then he was talking about how his son wants to go overseas to study but he had not enough money to send. Then we were talking about God and he told me how he became a Christian. He started by saying sorry I lied to you. Then he went on to tell me that his son passed away and he still has a daughter. The shit that I go through in life is nothing compared to what he is going through and I keep complaining. Thank God that the man and his family turned to Christ but look what I'm doing, my life is going on great and all I do is keep turning away.

Anyway after that Kenneth, Timothy, Tai Li and I went to Orchard. I finally got my iPod gmasked so I don't have to use the silicon case and sleeve already. After that we went to Yamaha and I finally got my guitar strap and some strings. Got a capo from Paradiz Centre too. They totally revamped the place already so now 1 part of it looks nicer. After that we bought alot of crap from Cold Storage. It's been a really long time since I met them so it was great catching up with them. I've known the since primary 5 and we've really gone through alot together. Went to JC's house after that for awhile.

You know I dare say less than 5 people know who I really am. I shall save this part for when I'm in Australia if I remember about it in the future. Anyway, I hope Chelsea wins West Ham later so they'll be on top. I'm not a Chelsea fan by the way. See ya soon!

All in the mind

Ahh.. Soccer today was so crappy for me.. Don't feeling like blogging about it..

I'm leaving for Australia in 11 days time! That's super soon. It still doesn't feel real that I'm leaving. My family would be going there for holiday for 1 week plus so I'll still have them but what will life be like when I'm there alone? Will I feel scared? It's always nice to know you have a home but I'll be so many miles away from home so how would I feel. Almost everything I hold dear to me is in Singapore so the thought that I'll be away from all this is quite insane. I guess I'll just find out over there. But when I'm there I really have to make it a point to study as hard as I can or I'll be wasting my mum's money. I know it's not going to be easy but I'll try my best. You know what I wish? I wish that after some of my friends graduate from poly that they'll be able to go Australia to study too. It's pretty impossible though but I do hope it happens. So many questions, so few answers.

God is real

Today was a great day. Had to go for physio in the morning. I just hope my injury gets better.

Did nothing till evening then was supposed to go meet Alex they all at Newton MRT at like 5.30pm but they came late.. I'm always the one waiting for people to arrive cause I always try my best to arrive on time. Anyway, the event was great! I had alot of fun eventually. It was an EYE OPENER! Haha! All the people singing are so talented. Sometimes I wish God would bless me with such talents. Anyway the message by the man today didn't really speak much to me. It was basically just reinforcement of what I already know about God.

I know God is real but somehow I just choose to ignore that fact. It's so stupid but that's what I've been doing the entire while. I'm just denying the presence of God and living the kind of life that I want to live which is really foolish. Initially I felt bad about it but as time passed by I guess I just started getting used to it and it became a norm.

Anyway yesterday was quite good too. Met Jerome in the evening and we went for supper. Had a really good talk with each other till pretty late. He's been my friend for like 11 years already and he's like a brother to me. Thank God for you.

The idea of living in Australia on my own is pretty exciting and scary. I'll blog about how I feel about that tomorrow.

201

Today I was at home the entire day but I dare say that it's one day I'll never forget. Alex, thanks for helping me with everything! You're really a great friend, someone I know I can count on ALMOST all the time. Haha! Yea, so I like took 1 hour + to write it and I'll send it off tomorrow but first I gotta buy a stamp! Good night world.

And damn, feel free to check out the archives for loads of crap! (:

Where are you

Ok, I shall blog about yesterday. So I basically got my new nano yesterday. It looks super nice but too bad the capacity is really small. It was really tough contemplating which I should buy. So in the end I decided to get this.



This part is for Alden and Alex. Yes yes, it's orange ok.. but I don't like orange for the reasons you think I do! It's just a nice bright colour!!

Then in the evening Jerome and I went to play pool with his uncle and cousin. Before that we went to Botak Jones to eat. You can never get sick of the food there. I wonder if the food in Australia would be like that. I lost every single match I played in pool. My concentration sucked and I really just suck at that game. But it was fun. Both the uncle and cousin are pro but the cousin is insanely good. He is those competition players. But yesterday Jerome won him so what does that make Jerome?? Anyway, after that he came over and just talked and played dota with the rest.

For me songs always cause me to feel the way the song is. Like, if I listen to some sad emo chinese song I would start to feel abit down and if I listen to Christian songs which I haven't been listening too for a long long time I feel at peace like nothing can knock me down. My walk with God has been on a downward spiral since secondary 3 and it's never showed much signs of improving since. It's not that I don't want to go back to church but I really don't know why I always go. I keep telling myself I'll change but I don't. The thing is I know that God will always be there waiting but I keep feeling like he's not around..

Honesty..

I feel that I should make my blog as honest as I possibly can cause to me that's what makes blogging fun and interesting for you guys to read.

I dreamt of something super random yesterday. You know Amy from Fairfield?? Ya, I dreamt of her! It was really really random. If I remember correctly she told me that she dreamt that I died before. Haha. I really have no idea how I dream of such random stuff.

Anyway, I'm going to bring a camera whenever I go out to snap some pictures. Of course not SLR like Jerome that kind but some other lousier camera. Went out with my uncle, auntie and my grandma for lunch with my family. We went to some place near Outram? The food there is not bad and if I had my camera I definitely would have snapped some shots.

After that was soccer at Telok Blangah. I still remember during secondary 3 we would always go there. Those were the days.. Last time it was always the 4a and 4c people going there to play. Today was a great day for me thanks to Alden, Jerome and Wesley. Their service was super super good and thanks for such great service! Haha! Wow, I never enjoyed soccer so much for such a long time already. In terms of soccer this year has been very bad for me cause I've been hampered by this groin injury which is still there. Apparently the injury is linked to my abdominal muscles which is quite weird. Soccer was seriously seriously fun for me except for the part where Alex tried to kill me. =]

Went to Jerome's house after that to pass back to him his soccer ball. We really talked alot today and I must admit that we have really drifted alot from last time. Anyway, really great catching up with you! =]

That's all for today I guess.

Orange Sky

Today was another meaningful day. In the late morning went out with my mum and Trevor. Went to Tiong Baruh Plaza to get some stationary for Australia and some books as well. Had lunch at Sakae Sushi. I also got a new wallet today. I think we accidentally met one of my aunties there. The lesser time I get to spend with someone the more enjoyable it is for me which is quite a sad thing. This means that while I still have time with someone I tend not to appreciate them to their fullest which kind of sucks. Anyway I've decided to get a new iPod already. The question is whether to get the classic or the nano. Haha, the tough choices we have to make in life..

Anyway brought my brother down in the evening for him to skate his scooter. It was a fun and revealing experience for me. It was like every time he nearly feel I could literally feel my heart skip a beat and feeling so worried for that moment. Never knew I felt that way about my brother. It was really really a great time of bonding for us cause we hardly spend time with each other on normal days. We played soccer with some of the neighbors too. I think he wants to play as a DM cause he is like I am an offensive defender. Haha!

Jerome.. I'm not emo, I was just kidding and you're the rock star!

...

Went for some massage thing for my leg in the afternoon with my mum. It was super painful the way the man massaged but it was good.

Wow, today was loads of fun. We played soccer at the ACS field which was good to play on and the rain was good too. It's not the normal kind of heavy downpour but more of the short shower that kind so it was very cooling. Soccer was fun but the offside stuff were super funny. I really shouldn't have played but I really just can't help myself. After that we went for dinner and I ate alot. We all ate alot actually. Most of us had second servings. Let's see.. Daniel, Alden, Alex, Yong Soo, Kenneth, Bing Hui, Heng Guang, Greggory, Deric, Mok, Cousin and some church guy? Is that all?

Haha, so tired right now..

17 things you don't know about me

1) Alden backstabbed me in sec 2 over a girl.. WTH right?
2) I trust people too easily
3) I cry damn easily if you know how to make me cry
4) I'm not into bgr or that kind of thing already and is seriously considering celibacy as an option in life (not messing)
5) I have some doubts about God right now but I still am trying to believe and go back to Him
6) All I wanna hear in a song is the acoustic guitar and a good voice, the others are extras
7) God has given me signs that I'll be alone in life
8) I just got my credit card yesterday..
9) I'm leaving Singapore to study overseas real soon
10) I got super short hair right now
11) I choose fifa over winning eleven ever since playing fifa 09
12) I like beef, chicken then fish
13) I play the guitar but I suck at it
14) I regret going poly and should have listened to those who told me to go JC from the start
15) I can't stand arrogant people but I still accept them and act like they're ok
16) I am super super super flawed in so so so many ways (quite duh actually)
17) I hate starhub..

11 points about today

Ok, I'm just gonna blog about today in point form. Feeling pretty tired right now.

1) Met Alden and Joel to study at NP
2) We went Dailyscoops with Alex after that
3) Soccer till like 9+
4) Alden is a jackass for spearing me at THAT area
5) Daniel gave me a shirt as a goodbye present
6) Alex is those kind of people who don't wish you on your birthday
7) My Garena can finally work after tweaking some of the settings
8) Cleared up quite alot of misunderstandings with someone
9) Alden sucks! Totally kidding
10) I need to make another appointment to check my groin injury out and another therapy appointment as well
11) All I need is God (This list is not ranked in order of importance)

LOL

I FEEL LIKE I CAN FLY!!!!

How to save my life

1) Try to get myself back to church
2) Get my parents to get a divorce (I know it sounds super immature of me but everyone will be better off which includes my mum, brother, i and all extended relatives whom can't stand that prick)
3) Get my groin to heal so that I can play soccer properly again
4) Get my attitude prepared for studies

Don't stay together for the kids

I hate my father! And it's not because he laid some curfew, scolded me or what I just hate the way he drags everyone around down with him. I kept convincing myself awhile back that I've stopped hating him but now I know it's not something that I'll be able to just let go in a long time. Who knows, I may never even be able to let it go. Whenever I think about all he has done it really makes my blood boil. Sometimes which is most of the time, I just wish that he would disappear. I know I definitely would be sad but at the same time it would just be for the better for the entire family.

Anyway, my grandma sort of went missing today. It was like 11am then my mum, brother and I were supposed to meet the extended family for some gathering but my auntie called to say my grandma was not at home. So my family and I went over and tried to look for her. Like after an hour plus of searching we finally found her at some stall at Tiong Baruh Market waiting for one of my other uncles to fetch her back after he closes his stall. This uncle owns some stall there. I did something bad to one of my aunties today. Went I went to her house she liked asked me why is your hair so long. So I saw that her eyes were red and immediately said why is your eyes so red. I figured that she was crying because my grandma was missing. She's really one funny joker. She's the kind of person who always lives life with regrets and I'm quite sure she knows that she hasn't been treating my grandma well even though she might not admit it. Wasn't I just an ass to do that. I sort of did that on impulse because everytime I meet her the first thing she ask is my hair. Is my hair the only conversation starter?

After that we went to Bugis for lunch and went back home. My mum hasn't been feeling well recently and if you know her, please pray for her? Thanks.