Story of my life

Something about goodbye always makes me sad

2010-04-27T21:44:00.001+08:00

Hey there, if you're Sam then great :) If not, great still!

Sammy.. I love you darling. I know things ain't gonna be the way we want them to be for awhile, no more skyping at least not till the weekends which I'm excited for :) and like just seeing much less of each other which isn't going to be pleasant. I'm gonna be missing you this

much! (HAHA not like that can illustrate how much I miss you..) I love you Sam, and take care of yourself. Through this I know we'll end up growing stronger and I know for a fact that we'll make through this and in my heart, I know we've already made it through and it's only gonna be a matter of time till we have and I can't wait for that day! :) I know things won't be easy initially and it'll take some getting used to but you'll get and remember to pray and do your quiet time yea, it'll definitely be helping you. Sam, I love you and take care of yourself yea, God bless you baby! And you'll call me tonight! :D

When the going gets tough, look to Jesus :) I love you Sam!

2010-04-25T12:28:00.001+08:00

Hallelujah! By Your grace, I am healed! Amen! :D

2010-04-11T13:13:00.002+08:00

I've seen many different kinds of men in life and I in actuality I think I've got a high chance of being someone I do not want to be, someone arrogant and who thinks highly of oneself. I've seen many characters like that in life and I detest them. I know it's wrong for me to detest them and I shouldn't. Ok but in all honesty I think there's a possibility that I might become like that but thank God! I trust that by His Grace I'll end up a better man. Honestly right now I'm still a boy, no denying that I would say that I'm really immature or not matured yet. Haha yea, but thank God for all He has done in my life. I know it's pretty much wrong to say this since we're under Grace but I'm a bad example of a Christian. My commitment level is low and I don't put in much effort in building my relationship either but thank God I'm under Grace and that all is well. No, I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing but in a way I guess that's what Grace is about. I'll be taking things in my stride and obviously by knowing more of the Truth more blessings will flow.

Today's sermon was powerful, here's something quite interesting. For non-believers, supernatural healing comes from the outside in but for us believers, healing comes from the inside out cause the spirit is inside us. Often healing doesn't come due to 'blockages', maybe cause some are under the lie of condemnation or something like that but the moment we're under Grace and we don't go by our efforts, wow man! The blessings start flowing, no more poverty, healing, favour, so much more! :) Thanks God for your Grace, I'd be going to hell if it wasn't for that.

2010-02-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna updating this blog again but I guess secretly so if you decide to check it again, nice one. HAHA :)

Yea, just went out with Jerome and Alex. Those 2 are really 2 awesome friends, really don't know what I'd do without them. Wow, 1 year has zoomed by so so quickly. The past year so much has happened. Yea anyway, feeling quite weird now like I think I feel abit like bleh.

Thank God for all that I've been blessed with. Really I love God!! Woohoo! HAHA :P Continue updating more soon :)

2009-04-30T11:02:00.001+08:00

This is the new address to my blog!

http://somewhereapril.livejournal.com

Clockwatching

2009-04-29T20:36:00.002+08:00

I think I'm gonna change my blog soon. Anyway, I read this book about the Holy Communion and it was a really enlightening experience for me. The thought that Jesus is all I ever need is seriously out of this world. I mean how can all my needs be satisfied through just one man. But seriously, when I've fully accepted the fact that in this life all I'll ever be needing is Jesus then I'll definitely be a much happier person (not that I'm not happy now). I know that when my life is Jesus centered and when I'm grace conscious I do not have to worry about anything else and everything will fall into place.

I have so much to thank God for, he's blessed me so much my whole life that most of the time I just take Him for granted and each blessing becomes something I expect, something normal. I need God.

Pancakes

2009-04-26T16:02:00.002+08:00

Alright let's see. It's gonna be 1 week since I came back from Singapore but it definitely feels much shorter! I don't know, time seems to pass really fast. School is starting tomorrow, I sure wish holidays could've been longer.

Yes, procrastination something most of us are guilty off. You know how is it that there's something in your life that must be done but you still do nothing about it? Yea.. Anyway there's something in my life that I must really do but I'm still doing nothing about it. I was supposed to do this like about 3 years ago already!! Haha, alright I better do some homework now! Seeya

2009-04-21T19:12:00.001+08:00

CHECK THE NUMBER 1 OUT!

Oh anyway, I'm back in Australia already. Haha, having holidays from now till 27th. Hopefully I'll have enough discipline to catch up on my work. Anyway, it's Authum here already and it's really nice. OH OH LIVERPOOL - ARSENAL!! 4-4!! HAHA!! NICE!! ALEXXX!!!!!

The Middle

2009-04-20T15:31:00.002+08:00

Oh shit, I'm feeling sick. It sucks to feel sick.

Anyway, I'm going back to Melbourne today. Yeap, 1 week plus just passed by like that. It's quite hard to imagine how fast time can pass by. I definitely had lots of fun in Singapore playing soccer, world tour and lots of other stuff. I'm feeling pretty jaded having to go back to Melbourne in the sense that it's like the "Oh, I'm going back to Melbourne. Whatever." feeling. You get it? Friends and family will definitely be missed. Sometimes I so used to the fact that I miss some people that it feels like I don't miss them at all which is kind of bad.

Err, Ok I still have some stuff left to back! Seeya real soon!

I MISS YOU

2009-04-10T19:15:00.003+08:00

I'm in Singapore but it doesn't exactly feel nice and all. I'm having this jaded feeling. I'm so happy to finally meet my family in such a long time! I seriously miss everyone of them!! Wow, it's like 9.15pm in Australia now. Let's see what did I do today.. Nothing much actually, I'm gonna go out later though. OH OH OH I GOT GUITAR HERO WORLD TOUR!! DAMN NICE!! Let's see I'm either leaving on the 18th or the 24th, still not decided yet though.

I hope there's stuff to do tomorrow, hopefully soccer or some other shit. I GOT SO MUCH STUFF TO BUY REAL SOON. HAHA, I'm sort of missing Melbourne for the weather. Hot is fine, hot and humid is not fine! Singapore is so so humid! Anyway the KFC here kicks the KFC in Australia. HAhaha!!

Coldplay!!

2009-04-08T20:48:00.003+08:00

Wow, God really blessed me in my Chemistry test today. I think I'm gonna do quite well eventually. And there's only Math 2 left tomorrow which thankfully isn't counted in my final grade. Yea, after that I'm going back to Singapore like at the night. The days are just passing by so quickly. I remember leaving Singapore like early February and suddenly 2 months just passed my by like that. Time really moves fast especially when you're enjoying yourself.

Oh well, life's like that I guess. Anyways, I'm looking forward to going back to Singapore!!

Dark blue

2009-04-07T07:06:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA GOOD MORNING!

Err, I just had Literature test yesterday. There's still Chemistry then Math 2 tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. After that I'm going back home! I'm really looking forward to going back home, there's really so much I wanna do. Ok, anyway I'm not really prepared for Chemistry. It's so scary, the covalent shit and shape of the bonds. I'm sort of screwed if I go in right now but thank God for today cause I've got a free day to catch up.

It's been getting really cold and RAINY in Melbourne the past few days and it's not even winter yet! Can't imagine what it would be like during winter. Haha, I hope it does snow during winter even though it most probably won't.

Off to breakfast soon, seeya real soon!

Better than life

2009-04-05T19:23:00.002+08:00

Shucks Literature test is tomorrow! Literature is seriously not my thing at all. Let's see if I can remember all the techniques that I've to remember. There is connotation, metaphor, simile, juxtaposition, enjambment. Haha, I can't remember the rest which are actually personification and symbolism. Thank God for God if not I'll be so dead tomorrow. I do believe I can do well through the grace of God. Sounds really lazy I know but I'm studying for it too! Haha, the thing I'm worried about the most is Chemistry which is on Wednesday. I think I've got alot of catching up to do. Anyway I'm going back to my work now, seeya!

Math..

2009-04-03T18:13:00.002+08:00

Math test is tomorrow! I think I'm ready for it. I've been doing a fair bit of preparation for it already. After tomorrow there will still be Literature, Chemistry and Math 2. Back in Singapore so so soon!!

:D

2009-04-01T17:58:00.002+08:00

DID YOU KNOW THAT BLINK 182 IS COMING BACK TOGETHER??!?!?!?!? YEA!!!!

I love those Wednesdays where I don't have lab because this means that I only have one class that day! Cool right? This happens every alternate Wednesday! Haha, school has been pretty much the same. Maths exam is on Saturday so I still have some stuff to prepare. Chemistry is crap but I still love it.

I've switched to mac finally!! It's definitely more fun than windows! Oh well, gonna try to study again! Seeya!!!!

All those nights

2009-03-31T19:57:00.001+08:00

Yea, I've been studying more of late so thank God for that. I know it's not the best I can do though, there's so much more I can do so I'll stop blogging here and start studying now!

Mondays.

2009-03-30T19:01:00.002+08:00

My room is in a total mess as of now! There's like papers and stuff everywhere. I have to clear them up asap. Well, exams are coming in a matter of days and I'm only prepared for like half of them which brings me to something called literature. There's a reason why I didn't take literature in secondary school but now it's a compulsory subject so I'm stuck with it! Literature is just so complicated. You have to think in so deeply, explore every possibility. It's so exhausting!

Did I mention that my hard drive has crashed? It like makes this weird noise when I plug it in. I've given up trying to fix it. Hopefully it'll fix itself like it did the last time. Wow, I'm going back to Singapore so so soon. I'm really starting to look forward to it. It's gonna be so nice returning to familiar territory, back to family, friends and good food. Hah, when I'm back in Singapore I'm gonna switch to start using mac! It's quite cool. Oh and now my mac is full of pictures of ppl camwhoring. Maybe I'll upload some next time. Haha.

When I look back 1 year ago I go like wow, so much has changed..

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

2009-03-29T15:47:00.004+08:00

Hey! It's always nice to go to church. It's like even though I may not absorb 100% of what is taught I always manage to leave feeling nice. God is really so amazing. How can someone hold so much grace? I mean it's not easy to forgive but God forgives everything. Amazing huh.

Oh well, you know there has been this strange rashes on my neck and it's very very irritating. God please take it away?!?!?! PLEASE?? :):):)

There's so much I have to commit to God but I just don't. I know it's bad but God isn't like the number 1 priority in my life? Like when something happens the first thing that would come to my mind is how to solve it, not to commit it to God. Bad bad bad. Another thing about me is that I'm so ungrateful towards God. I take him for granted so so much. When He solves my problems I go hallelujah and after that in my heart I go whatever. The best/worst part is that His love for us will never change. Amazing!

I enjoy being in a small church. It's like everyone knows each other and you can feel that everyone is tightly knit together. Of course being in a big church is good too but oh well, just my personal preference.

HAHAHAHA, to Alden, Alex, Grace & JC!!! CELIBACY FTW!!!!!!! :D:D

Smile

2009-03-27T22:49:00.001+08:00

Hey! Pray for me? Yea pray for my studies k? I seriously need all the prayer I can get.

Anyway church was pretty good today. Yeap, that's all for now.

Amber pacific

2009-03-27T11:26:00.002+08:00

Ahhh, Math 1 seriously sucks! I have so much to catch up with. This really sucks, I'm like gonna pay attention in all lectures from now on. Most of the time it's not that I don't wanna listen in lecture but it's just that I keep falling asleep. I guess you could relate that to a lack of discipline. Oh well, I'm pretty lost in Math 1. There's Chemistry lecture later and it the Chemistry lectures seriously suck. It's like you can't help but fall asleep. Even mints can't keep you awake there.

Well, at least there's OCF to look forward to later. OCF is like this weekly church bible study thing. That's one thing to look forward to. Which reminds me, I've yet to prepare for bible study later. Haha, it's always nice to know that Grace is undeserved. I mean it's times when life is like crap where you see yourself for who you are really are.

Back to studies, I really have to start working hard. I'm not good at humanities and here I am taking so many of them. I have History of Ideas, English which consists of literature and some other crap. There's drama also! OH SHUCKSS, I screwed up my mime yesterday. I only got 7.5/10 and everyone else got like 8+, some even 9. Luckily it's not graded this time. Next time I'll prepare harder.

You know, I've sort of forgotten what it's like to be in Singapore already. I've grown so accustomed to the life over here. Can't wait to go back to Singapore though!

Overrated

2009-03-26T16:56:00.003+08:00

Ok I know I haven't really been updating much these past few days. Life's been pretty busy, I can never find the time to blog. There hasn't been much inspiration to blog either, I mean I used to be able to blog about my day but it's like routine now and I can't blog about it everyday right? Yea, it's not a bad routine. I'm actually enjoying myself here. I've been slacking off abit too much recently though. Haven't really been on my books. Ironically Math 2 is easier than Math 1. Math 1 contains 'O' Level stuff which I have completely forgotten about! Wow, trigonometry can be such a bitch. Haha, oh well. Exams are coming really really soon. My first paper is on the 4th of April and it's Math 1!! I'll be coming back really soon again, like on the 10th of April.

There's so much stuff I want to do when I'm back in Singapore! I do miss home cooked food so so much. I used to be like it's the same thing everyday but here I am craving for it now. Life is seriously full of irony. You know they say the grass is always greener on the other side? I have to agree with that.

I do miss playing soccer! It's been like 2-3 weeks since I've last played soccer. Hopefully the game this Saturday is still on. Can't wait to get back to Singapore to play though, I really miss playing there.

My walk with God as usual hasn't been that great but I'm trying. Yea, that's all for today! Seeya!

?

2009-03-14T07:05:00.003+08:00

I hate those mornings when you wake up and feel like wtf. Yea, I guess today can be counted as one of those days. No idea why though but I did have a strange dream. Let's see, the past week is so hard to describe but I'll try to describe it in a few words. I think that this week has been pretty crazy. Crazy in a good way though.

Yea, school has been fine. The workload here is pretty acceptable and I'm coping well.

Stolen

2009-03-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

What a day.

Saturday

2009-03-07T11:46:00.001+08:00

Alright, I know that I haven't been updating regularly but that's cause I've been so busy with work and stuff. I don't know, it always seems like I can't find time to blog.

Anyway, school finally started on Monday. I chose Chemistry, Math 1 and Math 2. The way English works here is quite cool. They like separate it into 2 different sections namely Drama and Literature. It's really different from Singapore's system. There's also English for Academic Purposes (EAP) and History of Ideas (HOI). If I have to choose one subject that I really dislike it would be HOI. It's abit like History back in Singapore. Oh well, you know what I've been learning in Maths is seriously so weird. 2 + 3 = 5 right? Not anymore, it can equal to 2 or some crap like that. It's all new to me so yea, there's alot of catching up to do. It still doesn't really feel like school though, it's a new experience for me.

The past few days have been so so cold and it's authum only. Oh yea, cold is ok just that when it rains it tends to get really uncomfortable. I don't know I'm enjoying myself here but I'm missing Singapore.

post about what

2009-03-02T20:01:00.003+08:00

Hi

The weather outside is quite cold right now. Not tonight. It's getting colder though. But they say that tomorrow is going to be real hot.

Let me tell you a secret

I, Lincoln Tan don't know how to work Facebook!
I, Lincoln Tan, was an ah bengzxz! But I guess I'm better now that I have come to Australia and witnessed True Coolness in the form of someone really really cool (hahaha no duh)
I, Lincoln Tan, still love Westlife, especially sappy love ballads that make human beings keel over and start puking their insides out due to pure and unadulterated grossness
On the other hand, they used to be cool. Used to. One of them is gay.

On a more serious note, I am studying Chemistry now. Protons are positive and Electrons are negative.

In Your Freedom

2009-02-26T07:27:00.003+08:00

Haha, yesterday was great. For me personally it's almost impossible to stay positive for like more than a few hours. I don't know but it's like after a few hours of positiveness all the negative thoughts just set in.

Oh wells, lecutres have started to get slightly boring. Maybe it's cause they're currently teaching what I've learnt from the extended program already. Sometimes I could just fall asleep during lectures! I hope that this things don't continue this way. On a much brighter note, my life for this past few days have been so full of God's love. I remember there was one night I was so happy that I was so scared that the next day I wouldn't be happy which turned out to be the case after I had a sad dream but things became happy again after that.

You know how everyone has an escape in life? For some it may be exercising or maybe even doing drugs or something. I guess my form of escape would be in music. The music I listen to really affects my mood. I haven't really been listening to Christian music for the past month and when I started listening again, I really felt good.

Alright, I'll be off to do work now. Nothing much to blog about these days.

Adonai

2009-02-24T20:11:00.003+08:00

I know this makes me sound like a total jackass but it's only at the low points in my life that I turn to Jesus. It's always at the low points in life where I see how I can't make it without God. Woohoo, I feel like I'm high on Jesus. Haha, it's really so amazing how God can turn any situation into a great situation. My spiritual life is like this cycle, when shit happens I turn to Him and when things are good I forget. That's a really screwed up habit and I hope this time it's different.

When I first came here I was so on fire for Christ then slowly the fire just died out a few weeks later. When you feel the fire of God it really feels so different. Ever since the fire for God died out it's like I've been trying to find my peace in everything else but Jesus. Weird right? Just a few minutes ago in my mind was like, life sucks and now I feel like my life is perfect. Ok, I must sound crazy now but that's really how good the love of God is. I seriously forgot what God's love felt like! The way I'm feeling now is insane. I'm feeling at peace, happy, no negative feelings at all. I wasn't even praying but I just started playing Hillsongs and I could feel the difference. Wow, this is really so so amazing. I'll blog more tomorrow! =]

?

2009-02-24T08:07:00.002+08:00

Yay! Lectures have started at last. I sort of don't really like lectures as compared to classrooms cause I'll tend to fall asleep after awhile. Oh well, yesterday was a pretty long day. Played soccer after class yesterday and it was quite fun I guess. There's like no tutorials on the first week of school just like Poly last time.

I'm really thankful for the friends I've made here.

Mr. Positive

2009-02-17T16:39:00.003+08:00

I'm back. Didn't really feel like blogging here cause I got this diary where I write in it everyday and it's there where I can say how I really really feel. Well, today was sort of a long day but I won't blog much about it.

In my life I'm just too negative. You know that in all that I do, I'll always assume that the worst case would happen so that I won't get affected by it too badly if the worst does happens. It's like I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst. This mindset has sort of made me a more negative person so from now I'll really change it. I'm gonna start afresh. I'm gonna start each day thanking God for this day He has blessed me with. I'm gonna be thankful for everything that has brought me happiness. I'm not gonna be emo when shit happens. When shit happens, I'll thank God that for his faithfulness that will bring me through it. That's who I wanna be. This negativity has in a way caused me to be less happy. I was talking to this friend the other day and that friend managed to put how I feel in a phrase "You're just unable to fully embrace happiness." Yea, I totally agree with what she said.

This might sound abit weird and stuff but I really just wanna thank God for blessing Darren in my life. If I really stop being so negative, I'll thank him cause he is sort of like this catalyst that made me see how bad it was.

Can't wait for school to start, I know this year is gonna be a different year and I really look forward to what is to come. Chose my electives already, Chemistry, Maths 1 and Maths 2. Thank God for guidance that he's blessed me with through others.

Oh yea, you know the people here are really nice. In my 1 month plus here, I've talked to more strangers here than during my 17 years in Singapore. I was like taking this walk yesterday night, and a group of people came up and asked me if I was depressed and we ended up talking for awhile. Haha, it feels good when you're in a friendlier environment for many obvious reasons. My MSN has some weird problem now which doesn't seem to be going away.

The beauty of every problem is that there will be a solution.

Goodbye for now

2009-02-15T19:38:00.001+08:00

This blog is gonna be dead for awhile, I'm not sure how long. Gonna take some time away from this place.

Dancing ducks????

2009-02-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Breakeven

2009-02-13T18:12:00.001+08:00

Today was the introductory lectures for various subjects. Went for those that I felt that I should go. The lectures here are similar to Poly which means I'll have to have more discipline and not slack off. Played soccer after the lectures and as usual we lost like crap.. We've been losing every team we have played against. Anyway I sort of found my ideal position today which is good thing.

The song Cannonball by Damien Rice is really really meaningful. I remember when I first got the song a few years ago I was like listening to it on repeat for like forever. It's a really beautiful song that really connects to how I feel/felt. Haha, I seriously need to play more soccer or do some physical activity. Tomorrow I think I'm just gonna waste my day away.

I'm really worried that when the main term starts I won't be putting in effort into my studies. There's like this insane pressure on me to do well here. It's not pressure from my mum or what but it's just that I really feel the need to do well.

Shit, this is damn crazy..

Suppose?

2009-02-12T18:05:00.002+08:00

I won't be updating today. Haha, don't really have the mood.

Again I go unnoticed

2009-02-11T20:23:00.003+08:00

Well, had fun today. After touching down, headed straight back home to put my stuff down before heading out with the guys to city. Went to Melbourne Central to get some stuff. Then we wasted the afternoon at Yarra River and Crown. Took some photos but the internet here is sucky to the point where I'll take a long time to upload them so I'll save them for another day.

Nothing much I wanna blog about today but today was sort of a good day, catching up with everyone and all.

Welcome to my life

2009-02-10T18:31:00.003+08:00

Ok, this past few days have been great! Sadly, all good things must come to an end. This 5 days feels so short. Well, spent most of my time with my family today which was great. Let's see, I don't have much time to blog so I'll make this a short one. Went for lunch with my family, then went to collect my permanent lenses. Then my uncle gave a very special wallet. Haha, went to Jerome's house after that to pass him back his guitar. Jerome, thanks for lending me your guitar the past few days. His guitar is very special, sometimes it sounds super nice while other times it sounds hollow. Weird right?

It sucks to leave, but that's life. I'm just gonna go where it takes me.

Can you feel the love tonight

2009-02-09T21:32:00.005+08:00

Emotionally I'm feeling really exhausted. It's like I'm settled into the place that I was in but suddenly I have to move out. It's not just moving from Australia to Singapore but vice versca as well. I'm already starting to feel pre-departure depression. It's really a bad bad feeling cause there's like nothing I can do about it. This past few days has passed by real quickly, it feels like just yesterday that I touched down.

Well today I managed to do a few things. Sent my laptop to Sony for repair, then went to get some pens for a few friends back at Australia. Went over to Alex's house after that to talk. Nice try, Jerome I seriously thought it was a dog there. Great catching up with them. Met Alden after that and went over to Daily Scoops for ice cream. In all honesty, the ice cream back in Australia is 10 times nicer then what I've been eating there the whole while. Yeap, soccer at Anfield after that. Quite alot of people came today, and I seriously have to thank God that for the past few days it hasn't rained while playing soccer. Thanks! Today we played till quite late, maybe about 8 plus?

Bussed back with Jerome after that, it's sad to imagine that I'll not be able to bus back with him for the next few months. I mean in the past we used to do that like minimum 3 times a week. The past few years I've been taking so many things for granted, way too many. From my mum, to my brother, to my friends, to almost everything I have in life. Sometimes a part of me feels like I should never have gone over in the first place. Everything would be fine wouldn't it? Things would stay the same. I may have experienced much happiness in Australia but if I didn't go then I wouldn't know that things would happen that way. But then again if I had stayed, 1 part of me would be thinking, 'What happens if I had gone'. That's life isn't it, always bringing more questions, more doubts, more regrets.

One quater of my life has passed by and what achievments am I proud of? Almost nothing, all that I've been doing means nothing to me. Of course the relationships and friendships that I've been built up means so much to me but other than that I can't think of anything else significant.

So much has happened in Australia since I've been gone. From what I've heard, it's like our very own version of Gossip Girl!! Seriously!!

I'll try to phrase how I'm feeling in a sentence, 'I look forward to going back, but I'm not looking forward to leaving.' You can never have the best of both worlds.

The guy next to me is called Yoshi and his soccer is damn good. He was tickling me in the photo though. He's from Japan!!

Finally, a proper photo.

I blogged this a few days ago!!

You see the guy in black shirt? He's from Saudi Arabia I think and his friends are damn good in soccer!

Here are some photos from Melbourne. The first 2 is Chemistry class and the other 2 is Physics class.

Forever young

2009-02-08T18:21:00.006+08:00

This was our Physics class, Leon, Dr Fred, Darren, Amos, Me and Venu (From left to right). Physics class is da bomb! Haha, the amount of fun I had with them is insane. From the damn sick talk in class, to the playground madness. Notice Darren acting like a good boy in the picture, God knows what going on in his mind right now! =] KIDDING!! No, but I really had loads of fun with them.

Well today was spent hanging out with my family. Went out with my mum and brother to Bugis. Had lunch somewhere there. Call me weird but somehow I prefer the sushi in Melbourne, I have no idea why. Managed to get some shorts and a pair of sandals. Damn, the sandals are really really comfortable. My uncle and his family came again today. Managed to play Winning Eleven again with him and it never gets boring! For us it's like a way to connect, I honestly think he's one of the closest uncles I have. I feel that I'm closer to him than my father, how ironic.

Well, going for some dinner later. Thank goodness it's Chinese food, I'm sort of missing it. I'll be back to update again after dinner. Dinner seemed more of a chore for me. I was like waiting to go home. You know my mum prefers to eat at restaurants especially since I'm back but not that I'm not appreciative or what I honestly rather our family just order in and stay at home to eat. It feels more homely that way.

Hands down

2009-02-08T00:17:00.004+08:00

Hah, Singapore really feels so different from Melbourne and in a bad way. There's this really unfriendly atmosphere which I can feel unlike in Melbourne which has this friendly atmosphere. I would have to admit that the only thing that makes me come back to Singapore is family and friends. Yea but I have to say that I've enjoyed my day catching up with everyone.

Went to run a few errands in the morning before soccer in the afternoon. Alden, Alex, Jerome and Edmund came over first. Soccer was fun though it could have been more fun. I really miss playing with the Anfield bunch. Went for dinner after that with my family and some friends. It's been so long since I had buffet and the food was great. I guess the food that I missed the most while in Melbourne was home cooked food! I'll continue tomorrow, so tired!

It's like I'm screwed up already. I keep on waking at 6:30am everyday and can't sleep after that. Anyway, I'm like trying to keep my 'distance' from Singapore but the more I try the more I can't. I'm afraid I'll feel messed up again when I'm supposed to leave for Melbourne. I really love both places so much and it's like on the plane where I have 7 hours of alone time it can get abit emo at times. I really feel that I've grown really close to some people in Melbourne, really close and I just wanna thank God for the few friendships that he has helped to prosper. I've really managed to open up alot to 2 people. I know all good things will come to and that I'll have to go back to Singapore at the end of the year eventually but it's really urgh.. Ok, I won't blog about this for now.

Anyway life really comes and just hits you from somewhere you can never expect. I mean, anything can happen in life. It's really a good and bad thing but for me it's bad most of the time. It's like when something comes so unexpectedly I'm really left with no clue on what to do and then I'll just have to try and error and when I screw that thing up, it's screwed up. I should really have the do first think later mentality. Of course for those things which I know I shouldn't do I won't even be doing it, you get what I mean? The more I think the more I won't do it so what's the point.

Seeya!

Goodbye

2009-02-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

Yea, that's the way I'm feeling now. I'm feeling neither sad nor happy. Currently waiting outside the gate to board the plane. I'll admit, the last time had to leave my family I shed more than a few tears but now I'm surprised that I'm feeling this way, feeling nothing.

Damn, they just changed the gate number and I like had to walk from one end to another. I'm just gonna wait for everyone to get in before boarding. Through out this year I've really lost my fire for God but still i'm gonna commit this entire year to Him. I really just wanna trust in Him and not in my own abilities cause there's only so much that I can do. I'm nothing without him but here I am still trying to make it on my own. I might just board now, blog later.

The flight just got delayed by like 1 hour.. Oh well, this sort of sucks. Do you ever feel like you do not know what you really want. In the end, all the things we own will come to nothing when we die and the thing about life is that we live to die so what's the point of really owning all this when it comes to an end. I'm not the kind of person who lives for the now, I live for the future. I guess some people think that I think too much and stuff but that's just me and I have no idea why I'm built this way but it's not something of me that I intend to change.

Did you hear that the bushfires in Victoria have killed over a 100 people? I was shocked when my friend mentioned it to me. Can you imagine, that's like 100 families losing a beloved each. It's really quite saddenning just thinking of it. I'm not gonna be someone who puts a rose in front of their MSN nick and just live life (No offence if you did that). I rather do nothing if the only thing I'm gonna do is just put that rose there. Guess all I will be doing them is pray for them.

I'm feeling so tired right now, it's quite ammusing to see everyone rushng to board the plane the moment the announcement is made. It's not like the plane will leave without them right? They're like donkeys when you hold the carrot in front of them. Hahaha! I hope that in life I'll never be the donkey.

So much has changed in Australia, I hope the change isn't too bad though. There's like politics here and there and I wanna just stay out of it if possible. I'm still looking forward to getting back though. By now I'm supposed to be like in the air already. See how life plays with you?It's like we're in this Sims game controlled by someone.

Gonna go off now, see ya!

Home

2009-02-07T07:33:00.004+08:00

Home finally, feeling pretty mixed about going home initially but it feels good being home at last. This will be a short post. I missed my bed so much. You know my bed in Singapore will have this creeking noise whenever I go on it and I really miss that sound. I miss everything so much, my mum, my brother, my helper, my relatives and even my dad. It was only when I touched down that I realsied how much I missed them all. I thank God that I'm back.

Well, just felt like blogging this morning since I managed to wake up super early so I'll blog before leaving.

Back home

2009-02-06T21:14:00.001+08:00

I'm like on the way to the airport right now. You know when they say the grass is always greener on the other side, it's so true. When I first came here I was like I'm waiting for this day to come as soon as possible but now it's a different story. I sort of feel sad leaving Melbourne it's the same exact feeling I felt when I was leaving Singapore. I never imagined that I would be feeling like that. You won't be seeing this post until maybe on Saturday after I surprise my friends in Singapore.

Things have changed so much since I first came here. I've really grown close to my friends over here as in really close. I mean I'm really surprised that I'm even feeling this way.

Well today was on hell of a day. After class, Darren and Amos followed me to Queen Victoria Market to get some stuff for my family and basically a had alot of fun, didn't we? =]

Ok the taxi right now and the window is open so it's very windy. I gotta go soon so I'll blog again soon.

I'm in the plane right now and I'm writing this. 7 hours of me time, well not exactly. There's like this man next to me from South America going to Singapore with his girlfriend and we talked quite abit about Singapore and stuff, he's a really nice guy. You're right man Darren and Amos, all this while when I'm not in conversation with the man I'm like suffering. Damn, I never imagined I'd be like this. I'm missing Australia and the people there so so bad. I hope that when it's time for me to leave Singapore that I won't feel the way I'm feeling right now. I think I'm just going to publish this when I touch down and just screw the plan to surprise my friends in Singapore cause I want to get how I feel off my chest. How could I forget to bring my Singapore phone back.. Damn, you know that feeling before you leave like you feel that you forgot something, I felt that before leaving and just ignored it.

I really love talking to the people next to mr, they're really nice and all and I'm really thankful that they're next to me if not I will go emo or some shit just being alone.

Alright, see you all soon!

Breathing

2009-02-05T19:30:00.002+08:00

Hah, Chemistry test was today. I'm pretty dissapointed with my results. It's only an 80% which is really below my expectation. I was really very careless during the paper. I totally forgot to balance the equation after writing it out and in the end all the other answers went wrong! Thankfully the test doesn't count in any assessment or what so I'll try harder next time.

Physics was crazy.. During the break, Amos, Darren, Leon, Venu and I went to the playground to play. We played this dumb shit toy which spins when we stand there and it was damn crazy. If only you can see the video man, you will laugh your ass off. There was like this woman next to us and I bet in her mind she was like wtf. I gotta find that focus I had when I first came here, the desire to really really excel and get what I want. I feel that I've lost abit of it.

Xiong went back to M'sia today so have a safe flight!! Went for pizza and stuff again today. Hmm, other than that nothing much happened today so I shan't blog anymore cause I still have to do my laundry! Seeya

Look forward to failure

2009-02-04T19:40:00.004+08:00

Haha, today was a pretty fun day. The extended program is almost coming to a close. Wow, can you imagine 5 weeks zooming past like that. It's just gonna be like 11 more cycles of this and 1 year will past. It's really so hard for me to imagine how fast time will pass. I mean, you only have this much time in life and I've almost reached one quarter of my life. That's 3 more quarters to go! I mean time really passes too fast, it's just like yesterday that I was still in Fairfield. I can still remember almost each moment so clearly in my mind. Throughout this 5 weeks what have I accomplished? I guess that I've really pulled up my socks except for the past few days where I was really off my game and didn't pay attention in Physics. Feeling slightly regretful about not paying full attention but all I can do now is work harder.

Since I didn't pay attention the past few days and the new chapters are related I really have alot to catch up. I'll still have to study when I get back to Singapore. After Physics was the soccer game. We lost 4-1. Damn, we've been like losing every game we play! The team doesn't really have much chemistry yet but I believe they'll do well next time. Hmm, I've really not be focused on God the past few days. It's like that fire for God has died down slightly, like I feel that it's no longer my priority.

I feel that in life I really lack the confidence to do something. It's not that I have low self esteem it's pretty hard to explain. The lack of confidence comes at the moment I need it. Take for instance, soccer. At the moment where I have to fake that person I just don't dare to do it. I guess one of my greatest fears would be failure. I guess I really experienced it too much in all aspects of my life ranging from studies (in the past), girls, and as a person. I'm so flawed in so many ways and the only way to cover them up is through the grace of God which I don't fully rely on. I know God can give me the confidence I need but I have no idea why I'm not turning to him. It's like you know the cure, but you just don't want to use it. Humans are a really weird bunch. In my life I've always got this feeling that failure is coming, somewhere, somehow, sometime and I just don't know why. For the past few years it hasn't been that bad but I remember in my lower secondary school days it really affected me as a person and I changed as a person to hide it up. For those who knew me since young, I'm really sure you can still see the change up till today. Wow, this is so personal.

Anyway I really took a big step of faith and when I go back to Singapore I've got 1 thing that I really wanna do. I'm off to do my work now so I'll see you guys soon!

Plain morning

2009-02-03T19:02:00.002+08:00

I tried to blog with my phone but there was some error so I'll just copy the post here.

Ok I've been really off today, wasn't able to pay attention at all during Physics. My mind was like miles away from what the teacher was teaching. Didn't absorb much at all. Yay, they're gonna play soccer after school tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.

Oh yea, I'm like using my iPhone to blog. Cool huh. I can like use it to go on MSN too though this means more distractions. There's even like this Guitar Hero game on it. My last string for the guitar broke today so I had to change them today. Thankfully I brought some strings from Singapore. If I ever run out there's this music shop nearby which is pretty good.

LOL, Keane is back at Spurs? Wow, 6 months into Liverpool and he's out. Alden, what happened to that Torres-Keane parthnership that was supposed to happen. The 20 mil flop! So many players go Liverpool and screw up although there are those that prosper there. Look at Baros, Kewell, Keane, Pennant, Voronin. They were all supposed to be so good but they ended up at Licerpool messing up. Thankfully Keane knew he was too deep and left on time. Haha, you guys know why I hate Liverpool? It's cause of this guy called Alex.

Healer

2009-02-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

When I say "I believe You're my healer, Nothing is impossible for You", do I mean it? Do I really have full faith in the finished works of Jesus on the Cross? Do I really believe?

N'

2009-02-02T17:51:00.002+08:00

Liverpool won Chelsea?? Bulshit red card, Gerrard should have gotten one too. Whatever Liverpool fans especially Alex, I rather Man U wins then Liverpool!!

Ok, the weather is starting to get cold again, I like it. It's like hot and then it gets cold again. Well, there isn't supposed to be school on Monday but there was this briefing today about some orientation week. We're supposed to go Sovereign Hills but I've just went there a few weeks ago! Oh well, looks like I gotta go again.

After the briefing, we went to play basketball. Some girls joined us and I think they're better than me at it! Haha, I really suck at basketball. Hopefully I get to play soccer with them at least once before I head back home for a short break.

One thing that I've learnt from my experiences is not to regret. Once you're in, you're in. Once it's done, it's done. Even if you regret what can you do? All regret does is make you feel like crap. I'll definitely try my best not to regret anymore but yet again regret comes naturally right, we can't just say no I won't regret and don't regret. It's only human to regret. My whole life I've been regretting over this and that and almost everything. I'm so sick of that kind of shit and I just want to kick that habit. Regretting gets us nowhere in life.

After basketball and stuff, we went to the city for dinner. There's this restaurant which is quite cool. Starting from 6pm, they make you pay for some dishes according to the time so if it's like 6:00pm, you pay 6 bucks but if it's 6:30pm, you pay $6.30. Cool right, you don't see this kind of stuff in Singapore. The food there is quite good as well, at least better than the food provided by the house..

Can't wait to go back to Singapore, there's so much stuff I want to do and get! I'll blog again soon.

All around the world

2009-02-01T20:09:00.002+08:00

Didn't go church today cause I wasn't committed enough to go. We went shopping in city instead. Tried to find a pair of shorts but I couldn't find any! Nothing much really happened today.

I'm feeling so tired now, because for the past few days I've been sleeping so late. There'll be Chemistry test on Thursday so I really gotta buck up. Other than that, life has pretty much been a cycle, a good cycle of course. Don't really have anything much to blog about, no inspiration. It's the Australian Open finals and I watched part of it. I shan't go on any further, feeling tired.

Victims of love

2009-01-31T20:38:00.002+08:00

'Everybody's hurt somebody before, everybody's been hurt by somebody before, you can change but you'll always come back for more, It's a game and we're all just victims of love'

- Victims of Love

We've all definitely been victimized by love before haven't we? Unless you're some perfect person then you've definitely felt rejected before. Love is something that I'll definitely try to avoid for a long long time. At the same time, love is something that can give us so much happiness. I know it's wrong of me to say love sucks and bites you in the ass since I've never really experienced it before. I guess the only form of love I believe in now would be God's love.

Damn, today was a pretty fun day! For starters I woke up at 1pm! Late huh, we slept at about 5am last night, close to 6am. Managed to catch up with abit of my Chemistry and Physics today since the other guys woke up at like 3pm. Went to have burger at Lygon for lunch. It was good but I feel that Botak Jones tastes nicer. I'm starting to miss certain aspects of Singapore mainly the people and the food. Went to Safeway after that to restock on our supplies. It's quite cool being able to choose your own soap and shampoo. Basically everything you use, eat, drink, you get to choose it for yourself. In Singapore I would just like take what was in the storeroom and use it.

Played basketball after that. Actually basketball is really fun just that I prefer soccer over it. I may enjoy basketball but I really suck at it! Basically I suck at basketball. Xiong and Joel are going to stay over again today and we'll be watching Transporter. There's church tomorrow morning so I guess I'll be sleeping early.

Something super funny just happened. While I was skyping with my mum, Darren 'borrowed' my phone to see what an iPhone is like. Unfortunately he had an agenda to it. Guess what he did, he SMSed some girl asking her to be my Valentine. Sounds familiar? This kind of stuff really remind me of all the stuff that happened in Singapore. Haha, it's really super funny. Darren hope you feel the love on Monday!!

12:00am

Spending that night

2009-01-30T21:42:00.002+08:00

I'm currently obsessing over the song Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Ok, I know I might be slightly outdated but her voice is so unique, so deep yet so pleasant to the ears unlike that of Miley Cyrus. I heard one of her song once and was like what the.. Anyway, the weather here has cooled down significantly, I mean the afternoons would still be hot but the nights will start to get cooler. Thank God for that.

Anyway, I feel that I've stepped out of my comfort zone in terms of my way of life, learning to do my own laundry, ironing, cleaning up after oneself and all. Can you imagine, I'm like 17 going on 18 and before this I had NO idea how to wash my own clothes. I'm going to take 1 step further and really dare to step up and just make as many friends as I can. Initially I sort of felt that the relationships that I'll build here won't last as I would be going home after this year for NS but I should really be living for the now and stop thinking so deep. Really, after changing my mindset I must say that I really enjoyed myself today hanging out with everyone. I thank God for each and everyone God has blessed me with. There're so many, Darren, Leon, Xiong, Joel and Amos are the people I usually talk to.

Noon was extremely hot today, about 43 degrees. You really step everywhere perspiring even my room was like heated up so I have to get the heat out of my room. Went out for dinner to send Bill off back to Singapore. He's this guy from another intake. We went late so he left early. Walked around city after that with the guys. It was really fun, we had Gloria Jeans (Yes, again), played Daytona and just talked. I really feel that all of us are really bonding together. I know they have been hanging out but ever since stepping out of my 'comfort zone' it's been much more enjoyable for me.

Xiong and Joel are staying over today, so I'll catch you all soon! Gotta go now!

Second best

2009-01-29T16:24:00.002+08:00

I'm really different as in character wise as compared to so many other guys. I'm not that kind of guy who doesn't give a crap about what is going on. Not as in all guys, don't care about what goes around them all the time but I care too much? That's what my room mate told me. Anyway it's nice that God placed me around people who criticize you all the time. It's both a good thing and a bad thing. They point out where all your bad points are so you can change, and I don't wanna get started on the bad points. Anyway, I'm definitely starting to get used to Australia, but not so used to the people I'm around.

I don't really click well with the people I hang out with now. They're nice people and all, but it's just that I'm like from a different world from them. Really, it's like they're A and I'm the only Z, from both ends of the world. I'm not the kind of person who will change myself just so I can fit in the crowd, if I can't fit in so be it. I gotta admit, I enjoy hanging out with them but most of the time I feel like I'll be enjoying myself more alone. It feels like ever since coming here, I tend to close up to myself more. Here's a fun fact, I can't mess the same way I messed in Singapore without getting on the nerves of some people. I really appreciate all of them as friends but I just can't click with them. Hopefully I'll meet people who I can really talk to, even if it's just one person I'm happy, just someone I can sit down and have a heart to heart talk about anything and not everything superficial. The subjects I've been talking about the past few weeks are like, girls, money, food, school (You get the drift?), all the things about the world, I just wanna be able to talk to someone about the heart. Of course I enjoy hanging out with the guys but it's just not me. By blogging this, I'm thinking that they'll think I'm emo or something when they see this but the important thing is that I'm not. The only person I can have a really heart to heart talk to is with God and most of the time I'm not doing that. There's like this friend waiting in front of me and I'm not doing anything about it when I can.

Just the thought of being able to have my own space really excites me. Sounds weird right? Who would rather spend time alone then spending it with friends but right now, that's how I feel and how I've been feeling. Even by just being able to strum a few tunes makes me really happy. I do enjoy the occasional Dota and soccer games though. I think that God allowed me to come here for a reason aside from the 'education' point of view and I just don't know what is it yet but I'll find out in due course.

See it's like we're going to have pizza soon but somehow I just don't really feel like going but I'll be going cause I'm hungry. Haha, sometimes I just look back and think what caused me to want to leave Singapore. Of course I don't regret this decision I made and I'm enjoying it but there's always those questions that ring in you head that makes you question yourself.

Aside from this, the weather here is getting too hot!! I heard from my friend that it could reach close to 50 degrees celcius or something. Insane right? Come on authum, come quick! Darn, didn't really pay much attention during Physics at the later part, I felt so sleepy. I'll catch up though.

37

2009-01-28T19:06:00.002+08:00

Ok, summer has really started man.. It's really started to heat things up around here. I still remember the first few nights here I had to fold the blanket to make it thicker to cover me, now I have to like walk around half naked or it will be just too hot.

I must say, that I've really been putting in effort into my studies and I'm really making it a point not to lag behind. Somehow, I feel that I'm slowly losing my focus so I hope that I'll not. I really gotta to do really well so as to not waste everything that my mum has put in. Guess what's the temperature now, 37 degrees Celsius!! Argh, I won't be blogging much the next few days so I guess I'll just be stopping here.

Swiss army romance

2009-01-27T17:29:00.002+08:00

Ok, today was a pretty normal day, nothing much has happened. Darren's birthday is today. That's all about today I guess, don't really have the mood to blog.

Bend and not break

2009-01-26T19:38:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year guys! Hope you guys over at Singapore have a great time and those over here enjoy yourselves as well! It sure doesn't feel like Chinese New Year to me. I don't know why but I no longer feel the 'magic' of holidays anymore. I remember when I was young that I would look forward to Chinese New Year and Christmas especially. I still remember the exact feeling I would feel when a holiday nears. It really felt very magical for me. Now, holidays just seem like any other day to me. Is it true that as we grow older we start to become like this? I sure hope not.

Went out at night for dinner with Darren, Joel, Leon and Roxanne. Went to Lygon again. You can never get sick of the food there. Today we spent more than we usually would since it's Chinese New Year. Ahh, the excuses we make for ourselves to indulge.. We ordered 1 seafood platter which was good! The serving is super big, it says for 2 but in actuallity it can actually feed 5 people. Of course it won't make us full but it's good enough. Ordered steak today, medium rare with red wine and black pepper sauce. Let me just describe it to you. The meat they give is like 1 big slab of meat. It's about 3-4 pinkies thick when you stack them together. Once you eat the steak here, and compare it to Singapore's, you really find that most of the steaks in Singapore is crap. Now for the sauce, it was so so good. You know in Singapore when you order red wine sauce, you can barely even taste the wine cause they put so little wine. Over here, you can really taste the wine and mixed together with the black pepper, it's perfect! After that, we had ice cream. The flavours I had today were white chocolate and cinnamon doughnut. The cinnamon doughnut could have been better but it's not bad.

Trying to meet my sleeping time which is at 11:30pm so I'll see you guys again soon!

For an open mind

2009-01-26T08:36:00.002+08:00

This post is about Christianity so if you're not Christian an don't have an open mind you might just want to go away for now? There's actually some chores I have to do but I really feel the urged the blog this.

Last night just before I was about to sleep I was just reflecting through on what had gone on the past couple of days and 1 incident was really stuck in my mind. Basically, a few days ago Darren, Leon and I were decided on what to get for Roxanne's parents to thank them for treating us. So as we were discussing what to get I said 'Bible'. In my mind, it was like what better time to show them about Christ. Immediately that idea was shot down by the both of them. Initially in my mind I was like 'Wow..' so I just asked why. The answers I received were pretty much 'correct' in the human point of view. Some of the answers I received were "It's not the right time to show them Christ.", "It's not God's time for them to receive Christ", "Clash of interest". You get the idea right? At that point in time I was like "Maybe that's true.." So one of them told me if someone gave you a Muslim Bible (I think he said this), what would you do with it. I said I would chuck it aside but still receive the gift. Then, my mindset was changed and I felt that yea, why bother giving them a bible, it's definitely not God's time. The question that came to my mind after that was "When is the right time to show people to Christ?" I know that the answer is any time, any where but somehow after that conversation, I really started to doubt that.

Thank God, that he gave the answer to me last night. The answer was right around neck the whole time! (The Cross) I think it was the Holy Spirit telling me the answer. By saying that "It's not the right time and stuff", you're actually putting faith in your own works to bring others to Christ. You're also actually saying that "Yeap, the Bible doesn't have the power to show people Christ so why bother giving it, I mean the reader believes in her own religion and it won't be helping her much so she'll just chuck it aside or maybe even throw it away behind our backs." Yes, I believe that's a possibility that would happen but I also believe in the finish work of Christ and how much power the Bible contains. Nowadays as humans it's natural to put faith in your own ability and not in God. Sometimes we don't even realise that we're doing that when we are! By giving the Bible to someone, I believe that we're actually planting a seed in his/her life which would grow in time to come. The fruits would definitely come out, it's just how well you water and nuture the seed. I thank God there he showed me how full of flaws I am. I knew about the finished work of Christ and how it has power over everything and yet there I was believing that, "That's true, maybe we shouldn't give the Bible." If believe that if we give our Bible through our own faith then yea, the family would just chuck it aside but if WE gave the Bible in faith of our Saviour, it would be a whole different story. But yes, personally I feel that it's a good thing that we didn't give the Bible because if we have given it, it would be given in our own faith and not in the faith of God.

Thinking deeper, for how long have I been putting faith in my own abilities and not God's. I would say EVERY TIME. Seriously, all this while I have this great source of power and love in front of me but I choose to rely on my own strength! How foolish have I been. I know it's not going to be easy putting full faith in God because I have been like this my whole life but I'm going to try to change. By putting full faith in God means that, the next time crap happens in your life the first thing you do is just commit it to the Lord! Easier said than done, when crap happens in our lifes what do we do? Our human instinct immediately tells us, What can I do to fix it? Instead, we should be thinking, God I give this problem to you for I can't solve it in my own strength, please help me. You get what I mean? I'm not saying all of you are like that, maybe you aren't but I believe that a large majority of us are like this.

This post is not to judge (in case you feel judged) but to help. No, you're not condemed by having acted this way. No, having this mentality won't make God look at you or love you any differently. You know why? It's cause of the finished work of Christ and his blood that is shed in us already. When God sees us, he sees us with the Glory of Jesus EVERY SINGLE TIME. I hope that by reading this, through the grace of God, that an impact has been made in your life.

The end..

12:04pm

Trouble is

2009-01-25T19:42:00.003+08:00

It's Chinese New Year eve right now but it sure doesn't feel like CNY to me, feels like just another day. Honestly, I wouldn't mind spending today alone but ended up going for some BBQ with some school mates at night. I think I'm more of the kind of person who will keep to myself unless I'm really close to you, trouble is, my friends here think I'm emo or something like that. Maybe it's the hair, maybe it's just the way I act but I feel that I'm definitely not emo once you know me, of course.

Going to the BBQ was really a last minute decision for me. For one, I knew that there would definitely be alcohol and I really wanted to put myself away from tempation but I still went in the end and thankfully I didn't even feel tempted to have a sip when my friends told me to. Initially I was supposed to go for some dinner with Leon, Roxane and Darren but I said no at first and by the time I said yes there was not enough space. Roxanne's parents wanted to treat us that's why I felt bad and I'm feeling slightly blessed that I didn't go cause I got to experience another kind of 'BBQ' with friends. No one really got drunk except for one who got slightly drunk and started talking funny stuff. Met quite a few people too. There's this guy, his name is Ikram (I think that's how you spell it) and he plays the guitar. His guitar is so good, it's an Epiphone and it cost him Aussie $900 which is about S$900. The guitar is really super good, sounds extremely good and is very nice to play. He says it actually is almost exactly like a Gibson just slightly lousier. Met some other people too but I don't remember all their names, I really suck at remembering people's names.

Well, before the BBQ I actually went out to have dinner on my own. Ever since coming to Australia I just feel like the companianship I will build here would be 'short term' in the sense that I'll have to go back the next year to serve NS so what's the point of getting so close right. I know this kind of mentality is wrong but that's the way I think. I'll try to change that mentality but it's not gonna be easy since it's been with me for quite some time.

Other than that I guess I've grown closer to Darren and Leon in the sense that we spend so much time together so it's pretty cool. I mean we spend so much time together so how not to be close. They aren't like you guys in Singapore, and they are really different kind of friends to mix with. I always knew that this world is really big but ever since coming here I finally realized just how big this world is. Singapore really is a bad place to grow up in because of the way they educate the people. Yes, it may be good but is it really helping as much as it can?

Just skyped with my family, uncle, auntie and cousin included. Was really great catching up with them. The thing about me is that do I dare blog how I really feel when I know who is reading this blog. So far, it's been ok, I mean we all hide some stuff but I'm not changing what I want to type just to hide how I feel from people. That's the reason why this blog was locked for such a long time, cause I was afraid I might change the way I blog when I open it up.

My first CNY eve away from home and it wasn't bad at all, a new experience. I wouldn't say that CNY at home would be a better as compared to having it away from home, they're both good and bad in their own sense.

Gotta study now! Take care!

12:00am

Down

2009-01-24T20:47:00.003+08:00

Damn, my contact lenses is either flushed down the sink or stuck behind my eye. My gosh, it's so crappy. The thing is it's like my eyes aren't feeling irritated but there's this feeling in my head that it's stuck there. Whatever, if it's stuck in my eyes I hope it comes out soon so I can get it back if not it's literally 100 bucks flushed down the sink..

Anyway, today we played soccer at Princes Park. It was fun, but it could have been better.. Ok, my blog seriously needs more photos and I'll try to upload it if possible. Dinner after that was so so. Had Gloria Jeans and we just sat there and talked. Joel and Bill joined us today.

Today I said the word 'Fuck' about 10 times. Damn! Sometimes I really feel like the Pharisees.. I'll stop here now, got some stuff to clear up.

Burn

2009-01-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

Yes, finally some time to blog.

The past few days have been filled with like minor hiccups here and there. For one, my bed time is getting later and later and I've got to change that. Also I've been trying to install applications on my iPhone but it always seems to fail. To make matters worse, the house internet is screwed up. First they say I've reached my quota for the month and next everyone can't log in at all. Luckily I've got a prepaid broadband card on hand but guess what, the user name and password is in my spoilt com so I can't top it up for now. What the heck right, other than that my life is going on pretty much fine.

Lessons have been rather interesting. The pace of learning here is great, but I think I've mentioned that before. Today was a pretty long day though. After class Darren, Leon, Roxanne and I went to town to get a soccer ball and a basket ball to play. I haven't really been opening up to any of them yet and most of the time I keep to myself but that doesn't make me emo right cause that's what Darren keeps on calling me, emo! Anyway, we managed to get some cones and the balls after that. Roxanne's family came back to Australia after that so her parents treated us to Thai food. I really feel uncomfortable with people treating me as it sort of feels weird. The food there was not bad, especially the Tom Yum soup.

Ended the day at the basketball court playing basketball and soccer with the 2 of them. Played abit of basketball and more of soccer. Since there were only 3 of us we played 1v1. Oh, I miss those days where I get to do that with Jerome and his brother, getting thrashed upside down. You know Leon doesn't play soccer at all and when he just started playing with us he is so freaking good. He can just burn Darren and I like nothing so no matter what I do to get past him, he just comes back and gets the ball. He really has alot of promise in soccer. His physical aspect of the game is darn good. Runs fast, high stamina, tall, strong, you get what I mean? Once his technical ability reaches to an acceptable level he will own all of us. Hopefully one day he'll get to come to Anfield and just have fun.

Didn't manage to do my Physics today so I'll just catch up on that tomorrow. Alex, don't judge my house!!

Broken hearts parade

2009-01-22T21:02:00.003+08:00

Life's gotten much busier for me in the sense that I've alot to study since there's this 1 year gap between science and I due to the 1 year I spent in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I won't classify the time spent there as wasted time and in fact it was a really great time of making new friends and experiencing the 'outside' world.

I finally caught up with Physics and Chemistry, in fact I'm starting to look forward to each lesson. Did I mention, my latest Chemistry test got 27/30. Amazing how abundant God's grace is, I started barely knowing anything and somehow by His grace I've managed to grasp so many concepts.

Still thinking if I should be joining soccer over here. It's like 3 times a week and I'm happy making the 3rd league team just so I can play. 1 of the main factors causing me not to join is the amount time I have to commit. I'm utterly exhausted today, went to check out what soccer training would be like and it was pretty fun.

Pizza for dinner after that and here I am after 2 hours of chores. Gotta go sleep now, my internet just crashed and my MSN can't log on so some conversations got cut short! Sorry! Oh yea, this few day has been packed with inconveniences here and there which makes my day even worse.

Lack of time

2009-01-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

No time to blog today, gotta catch up on my physics..

Dice

2009-01-20T19:50:00.002+08:00

Wa.. The girl in the house just cried cause Darren and I were throwing around her stuff toys, actually I sort of started it. Girls..

Anyway, almost caught up with Physics and there's only forces left and the chapter he's going to teach tomorrow. Chemistry has been going pretty well and I'm starting to understand it easier and easier. Hopefully soon I'll be pro at it.

Don't feel like blogging much today since it's 10 minutes past my bed time. I'm trying to keep this habit of sleeping early and waking up early cause I'm starting to get immune to my alarm. Lord, I pray that you'll help me to wake up tomorrow! Thanks!

Anyway, my MSN has some problem so I can't log in and I have no idea why. Alright, that's all for today.

Alden you can stab my back again!

2009-01-19T18:51:00.002+08:00

Shiba.. Why do all the moths keep coming to my room. I'm okay with catching the smaller one but the big ones seriously freak me out.

Anyway, there was no school today so it was pretty much a day where I got to do my chores and catch up on my Physics. Honestly, I'm still not very clear about the current topic that the professor is teaching, Motion but I will catch up. Since some of the people had school, Leon and I waited for them to finish before we headed out to the city. Finally managed to collect my ATM card. I also got the goods for Jerome already. Make sure no one sees you with it. Haha! Managed to finally have McDonald's for lunch. The fries here are very nice. It's like not too hard but not too soft and salty enough but not too salty. Call me weird, but I like my fries soggy. Managed to get a bottle and some other necessities from the city as well. Took a tram back after that. Damn, today's another hot day. As in like really warm and no cool breeze. I hate nights like this.

Well, Roxanne shifted to our place. Feels abit weird cause it feels like I got much lesser space than before but I'll get used to it in the end. She's staying here cause she has to stay alone in her house and she's scared. No offence if you're reading this. Haha.

Brought back a lamb souvlaki for late dinner. We celebrated Auntie Doe's birthday today as well. You might not be reading this but happy 46th & God bless! Angela came too so there were quite alot of people here. Didn't really get to study much today, it's been a pretty hectic day. The hot weather, the chores and stuff.

Yea, Gunawan shifted out yesterday. If you're reading this then good, but if you're not then you have my good wishes! Haha, just wanna thank God for Gunawan. He introduced to us all the good food to eat like the curry don, the lamb souvlaki, nasi lemak house and so much more. Played a fair bit of soccer with him as well and had fun. I still remember he sent me this song, The Man Who Can't Be Moved and I kept it on replay for a day or two and he was like what the heck. Yes, I still remember what happened in Dota but I'll remember the happier moments! Take care at your new place and study hard! God bless you!

I'm also sort of enjoying the 'night talks' with Darren where we talk about so much stuff under the sun.

School tomorrow so I gotta turn in early tonight. Seeya!

1 more thing, I'm trying to find songs that remind me off 5 years back. You know those songs that you listen to on the radio last time such as I Knew I Loved You and Truly Madly Deeply, both by Savage Garden? Yea, I'm trying to get songs that sound like that so if you know any feel free to just put the name and artiste on my tag box! Much thanks!

11:30pm

Glory to God

2009-01-18T20:57:00.002+08:00

Woah, today was a indescribable day. The highlight of the day was that I went church and I did something really crazy there. I'll talk about it later.

Ok, actually I would just talk about it now. After reading the book Destined to Reign by Pastor Joseph Prince it really changed my entire perception of Christianity. From focusing on the law, to the grace of God. The grace of God really owns everything, and even law. Hard to believe? Read the book to believe it, your life will be changed. So coiencidentally the pastor today was preaching about the law of God. The law is not wrong, in fact it symbolises God's standards. I myself cannot explain what I believe that's why you have to read the book to feel it for yourself. As the preacher was preaching there was this fire burning in my heart reminding me about the grace of God. The preacher was preaching about the law. I can imagine how bad the people were feeling as the preacher was reminding them about all the sins they have commited. The law makes you feel like crap, it shows you something you can NEVER be! I really really can imagine the guilt the people were feeling admist the laughter of the congregation. (The preacher phrased some of his sentences funnily.) But really, focusing on the law really defeats the purpose of the cruxification. I really don't know how to explain it but in the book it explains EVERYTHING, just read it, trust me! Seriously, the fire in my heart was so strong. It was mixed with some personal emotions which are wrong such as anger. The anger was definitely wrong and I just gave it up to the Lord. I could really feel the fire to tell him where he has gone so wrong. No, I'm not that good and it's only through the grace of the Lord that I'm able to say such things. In my mind I was hoping for an opportunity to be able to tell him how I feel. Amazingly, it came at the end. The pastor said if there was any questions you can just talk to him. I could really feel the Holy Spirit upon me and not thinking twice I just went up to him and when I was in front of him I was like what the heck am I doing. I really couldn't put what I wanted to tell him into words so I just told him this. Hey Pastor, can I introduce to you a book? He said yes and I just introduced him the book and wrote it down on a piece of paper. I asked him to promise me to read the book and he did and I ended with saying 'It'll change you.' Sounds crazy right? But that happened.

My friends think I'm crazy, it doesn't really bother me. I am guessing that alot of people had eyes on me but it felt that I could only feel God, the pastor and I there. I finally understand what it must feel like for Pastor Prince to have to preach Grace everytime. You feel like the world is against you but at the same time you know that all you need is God by your side. Honestly, after talking to my friends after that and they started asking me what I said and indirectly questioning my beliefs I really felt condemed. I would not be surprised if some of them think I'm 'educated' in Christ the wrong way but that's what I believe and it won't change. I'm 100% sure that if they themselves read the book, they'll be changed and I sincerely hope you guys read it too!

12:45am

Take me away

2009-01-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I've played Dota with actual people. Yea, just finished 2 games with my roommates and it was pretty fun playing with them. There were 4 of us so we just played 2v2. Ahh, I miss those days where I get to play with Alex and just have a GOOD time of bonding with him. (Get what I mean??)

Oh well, soccer today was very bad for me. I played like crap and I was the weakest link in my team. I seriously sucked in today's game. Missed 2 chances where I should have buried the ball in and basically wasn't able to get hold of the ball much. Pretty dissapointed in my performance today. The pitch was pretty good, like the one at ACS(I). It's actually an artifical turf. The winds today were great too. It was very enjoyable playing in such an environment. You know I heard from someone that the wind here comes from Antartica. Cool right, it's like I'm breathing air from a totally obscure place. Soccer wise, there's definitely alot for me to improve in. If I were to give myself a rating today I would give 2.5/10. Yea, that's how bad I played.

Not sure if I mentioned this before but do you know that the Sushi here is big? The rolls are like as thick as 5 thumbs put together and are pretty long as well.

Hmm, the thing about life is that we can never be prepared enough for the things to come. No matter how hard we try to prepare ourselves for what's coming it'll come down hard and real. It's undeniable that life brings much happiness but we just can't deny the fact that life brings about just as much sadness. (That's where Jesus comes in.) No, I'm not sad or anything, just pondering.

Vulgaraties.. I'm surrounded by a world full of vulgaraties. I pray I do not get influenced into using them. I know they're wrong and it's a sin to use them but sometimes the thought just comes to you to use it and once you say it, you can't take it back. Seriously, 4 out of 10 sentences I hear contains vulgaraties.

I've got a Chemistry test next Wednesday, keep me in prayer okay? Thanks!

I should start taking more pictures as well.

Somewhere in between

2009-01-16T20:01:00.002+08:00

Ok, I won't blog much today cause there's nothing much to blog about today.

Tomorrow I've got this soccer friendly match. It's like my intake playing against the previous intake. I hope it's gonna be fun and we booked the field so we'll be able to play 7 on 7. The losers has to pay for the field. Not everyone in my team plays soccer so tomorrow's game should be an interesting one.

I'm starting to get used to life here and I'm definitely enjoying my time out here.

This songs says how I felt when I first came here.

Daughtry - Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

I'm an ass

2009-01-15T19:40:00.002+08:00

Hah, today was a pretty interesting day. From now on, Thursdays shall be laundry and contact lenses soaking day.

So why is today interesting? I sort of pissed a girl off I think. You see I've been calling a girl Bugs Bunny and some of my friends were talking about it in the class and they told her to ask me about what I called her since she didn't hear it. So when I was walking to class today I was confronted by her and her friend and since 1 lie covers up another I just told the truth. I'm feeling abit bad, I mean if someone called me a name behind me I'll feel pretty angry too. I'm sure that a few years down the road I'm just gonna laugh this one off.

Anyway, thank God Chemistry wasn't that hard today since they were recapping old stuff. Darn, I wasn't listening much in Physics cause of my lack of discipline. It's like I would look at the board but my mind drifts a million miles away to another place. Classes here are quite cool actually and they come in one and a half hours with a half an hour break at the end. So there can be 4 classes in a day with a lunch break in between too. Cool right, since when did classes in Singapore have a half an hour break at the end.

Thursdays is also Pizza day! There's a shop nearby selling Pizza at half price every Thursday and it's not bad. (I think I blogged about this last Thursday, oops!)

Hmm, I lost my cool at my mum today. I don't wanna talk much about it but I hope things are okay now. Nevermind, I'll just say how I feel. Sometimes I seriously don't treasure those around me and I don't want to really start treasuring them when they're gone. I pray that from now on I'll be more appreciative in life.

God has really provided me with so much and I should just start counting what I have cause I deserve non at all. Is that how I should be thinking? I don't know..

I'm trying to believe in You

2009-01-14T20:05:00.003+08:00

Today will be a pretty short post. It's pretty late and I still have some revision to do.

Yes, one of the subjects that I always had trouble coping with is coming back to bite me in the ass. Guess what that subject is.. It's Chemistry! I still remember failing it for my prelims and thankfully by God's grace and the help of my tutor my combine science did quite well in the end. Frankly, I always have trouble coping with Chemistry and I have no idea why. I've been paying attention in class but I just don't get it. Whatever my classmates can absorb in 1 hour I take 2 hours to absorb. Crazy right? Honestly I feel that I have this natural thing for Mathematics but when it comes to Chemistry, I'm really not that good. I really hope that part of me changes since the things the course that I want to take for now is Bio Medicine and I really need to improve in the area of Chemistry.

Oh well, I'll just do my best and let God do the rest. I believe in God but there's still this part of me deep inside that really doubts the existence of God. There's so much doubt in my heart towards God, whether He will heal me, get me through this year, bless my family etc. Is being doubtful normal? Do you guys feel this way? Even though that feeling is very small it's not negligible and it sort of causes my faith to falter. I guess one of the main factors of this is because I've been praying for about 1 year plus for healing but nothing seems to be happen. I pray before I sleep only to wake up seeing things are still the same. I don't give up, I press on with my prayers in hope that one day they'll be answered but they just don't seem to be. I read this book, Destined to Reign talking about God's grace and I believe it but still grace doesn't seem to fall upon me where I can see it. I'm this kind of person where I have to see to believe, so God if you're seeing this please answer me? Please?

I've been leading the good life in Singapore, always having help but now things are different and I'm enjoying things the way they are. Argh, I'm such a doubtful person! You know they say you hear God speaking to you? I hear this voice inside but everytime I hear that voice, this question pops up in my mind "Is this my imagination?" God is just so supernatural, so impossible, so good so much so that I feel that God is unreal. I need to see something to believe it so if You may, please show me something?

On the other side of the picture, the weather is cold again and upon reflecting I realised that God has answered my desire yesterday. "God please bring the cold back!!" Is this really his doing (I truly want to believe in it) or just mere coincidence. That's the question that came to my mind. I'm starting to feel that maybe the God up there ain't so big after all.

The world is definitely changing, everything morally wrong seems okay now and it really saddens me to see such things happening. For example, God created sex to be within the boundaries of marriage but somehow the world twisted it to appear normal or "not wrong". I pray that I don't get twisted along with this world.

This post ain't long but so much for a short post. Catch you soon!

37!

2009-01-13T20:06:00.001+08:00

Don't wanna blog today! The weather is so freaking hot! 37 degrees! Total change from the past few days and honestly I prefer cold. God please bring the cold back!!

Gifts.. and curses

2009-01-12T19:26:00.002+08:00

Wow, can you believe it? I don't have schools on Monday! How cool is that! That's for the first month only though until the main term starts. But yea, for now my timetable is pretty slack.

Well, the past week pretty much has been a roller coaster ride for me. It's like during the day I have fun with my friends but at night when I'm alone in my room, the loneliness just sets in and sometimes it seriously sucks.

Anyway since there wasn't any school today I managed to slack alot today but I did go through my Chemistry! Leon's mum treated me to Pasta today and I feel bad whenever people treat me. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. Leon and I had ice cream again! Today was white chocolate and pistachio! The ice cream here is so good and we've been eating it almost everyday.

Went to the track at the University of Melbourne. I seriously suck at sprinting. Can you believe this? I've not sprinted properly once in my life. After that taught me the proper way to sprint then I realised it. My left knee cap hurts like crap now cause I was told that I rarely use that muscle.

During lunch, I had a pretty deep conversation with Leon and his Mum about Christ, faith and all sort of things. It was a really great conversation. Leon! If you see this, don't worry too much about your results, it means nothing! You're here now and that's all that matters! =]

Take care guys!

Random

2009-01-12T08:38:00.001+08:00

Just a random fact, it's like 11:40am and my hands are feeling super cold.. So much for a hot summer..

So long, so long

2009-01-11T19:48:00.004+08:00

You know I've been doing some reflection of late and the question I have been asking myself is "Do I really believe in God?" Sadly, the answer is no. It's so hard to explain why I feel this way but that's the truth. I've heard so much about God, all the good things that he's done for us but some part, deep inside does not believe in it. I mean on the outside it feels like I believe it but yet deep down inside I don't. You get what I mean? It's not that I don't totally believe it's just that there are doubts deep inside me. Does that mean that I don't believe at all?

Well, today would be the last day for awhile that I'll be eating out. The hostel is going to start providing food from tomorrow onwards, breakfast, lunch and dinner and from what I heard so far it ain't good but oh well, I should be treasuring what I have. Today went to Grill'd for dinner again, remember the burger bar I mentioned? The serving is big compared to burgers in Singapore and much nicer. Had gelato for desert again, Banana and Coconut flavours!

I did not mention earlier but there is another guy in our house who is about to move out soon. His name is Gunawan and he plays soccer too. Though I've not known him for a long time I'm sort of going to miss his company when he's gone. The house might feel incomplete or something with 1 guy less.

Oh well, invitations only bring farewells, we all gotta say goodbye someday. I must study hard and not let my mum down!

11pm!

The man who can't be moved

2009-01-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

Today was a pretty slack Saturday. Managed to wake up slightly later today at about 9am. Revised some work in the morning and went for a slow jog. Unfortunately, my legs were aching like mad and I wasn't able to jog long and had to jog slowly as well too. Everyone's legs seem to be aching from soccer today as well.

Lunch today at Lygon again.. This time round we had Nasi Lemak which was pretty good in terms of Australia's standard for Asian food. Didn't really do anything much today though. Oh, we had ice cream too! There're so many ice cream shops here and they're as good as Daily Scoops! Headed back after that while Leon and Darren went to the gym. Yea, dinner after that. Had some Japanese rice bowl thing again.

Honestly I feel that there's I have alot pride in me although I feel it's not that much. God, please take that pride away from me okay? Having pride in your own abilities is a darn bad thing! It causes so many problems both internally and externally.

Anyway my walk has slightly gone off track, I would say that seeking God right now isn't really my first priority and I know what is the right thing to do.

My room mates are great people but I just don't feel close to them. It's like we talk about stuff and all but our conversations are almost all superficial, about girls and all. I have fun talking to them it's just that having conversations about this topics all the time won't build the friendship up. Another thing is that I know that at the end of this year we'll all be going our separate ways so it's like argh.

Anyway, I'll be off now!

Crack the shutter

2009-01-09T20:18:00.004+08:00

I can finally use the computer again. I said I'll continue yesterday's post today? There's nothing much I wanna blog about yesterday.

Before I blog about today I just wanna talk about my life. I've realized how spoilt I was in Singapore! I mean, I didn't even have to wash my own clothes and I always had help with most of the chores. Here, I have to wash all the clothes that I use and basically everything that I use which is really different as compared to Singapore. I'm sort of enjoying this new found freedom that I have right now, but it definitely comes with alot of responsibility not to abuse it.

This few days have been pretty good, praise to God! Without God, I wouldn't even have made it through the first day here. He's the one that made me feel like someone cares when I was alone. Anyway, I would say that today was a good day just that I'm pretty tired right now as in seriously tired.

Had Chemistry class in the morning and I really didn't catch alot of points. I really have some catching up to do which I will start with tomorrow since there's no class. As I was saying before, my time table is quite slack! I've got no school on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Tuesdays and Fridays are half days. It's really good for me since I've got more time to settle down and do my stuff. I'll talk more about my room mates now.

For now, there are only 2 of them, Darren and Leon. Both of them are like tall guys and quite sporty people. Darren is the buffed kind of guy and plays rugby while Leon plays basketball. Both of them are Christians so it makes things better. They're really nice guys too. Oh yea, Leon is my age while Darren should be about 21 or 22? He served his NS already though so he won't be going back with us at the end of the year. Darren if you are seeing this, STOP SUANNING ME! Haha, kidding! Did I mention that they're nice people? Oh yea I did. Haha.

Back to my day. After Chemistry class I went to the city to get my MacBook and I'm using it at this moment. It's the new one, with the aluminium thing. It feels good to use too. Anyway I sort of don't feel too good about myself for getting it. I keep spending so much of my Mum's cash. I mean to come here already costed so much money and all I do is spend her money. I feel that even though my laptop spoilt, I'm not really warranted to get a new one because I can just repair the old one. I hope that I'll not spend that much of my mum's money anymore. I also got Windows Vista too so I can use the Boot Camp thing allowing me to switch between Vista or Mac.

We managed to play soccer again after that. Today we were able to play 5v5 as we were able to get some other people. Today, the others who came were Xiong. He's the only one I really managed to observe. He plays like Walcott cause he is fast and all but if I'm not wrong he plays left back for school. Soccer today was great! I really enjoyed soccer today. I felt that I played like *******. Guess who? 1 clue, not Gerrard!

After soccer we went to Lygon to eat at a burger bar. I didn't eat burgers today though, I had a salad. The burgers look amazingly succulent and large! I'm so gonna try it the next time I get to. Oh, Lygon is like this street where they serve all the good food! Pasta, burgers, gelato, pizza and alot more.

Hah, I feel like I'm slowly drifting away from my friends and that's bad. I'm sure they're feeling that way too and the worst part is that for me I am having fun here! Makes me feel bad at times. Thankfully, I'm going back to Singapore soon! Most probably departing on 7th Feb! The 1 week that has passed me by sure doesn't feel like a week! It feels like I have been here for a long long time!

See you guys again soon! I'll keep you guys in prayer! =]

FYI, it's getting pretty cold around here!

To be continued

2009-01-08T17:36:00.003+08:00

You know there are days where you just feel like giving up on stuff? Yea, today was one of them for me. Of course I ain't gonna give up but I'm sort of feeling so down right now. I have no idea why I'm feeling like this? Maybe it's cause I'm tired. Still using my friends laptop to blog.

There was physics and chemistry class today. It was pretty interesting except for some parts of physics. There's really so much I have to catch up on. I'll continue another time.

Melbourne...

2009-01-07T17:32:00.003+08:00

Ok, my laptop is spoilt so I can't do anything on it. Now I'm using my frends laptop. This really sucks.. The laptop is barely 1 year old. I think I'm going to get a new one soon. I should be getting a MacBook pretty soon, maybe on Friday or something from Bourke Street. Haha, you know it's like there's this girl.... Kidding!!

Anyway, the lessons here is very different from Singapore. Their english is like interacting and games. Sounds fun right? Trust me, it is. Made a few new friends today and one of them turns out to be a Liverpool fan so the first thing I did was said they suck. (Your fault, Alex)

My timetable is great, I'll talk more about it once I get my new laptop. Today was my first physics class too. It's basically just recap of what I studied in Secondary School so it's pretty easy and I took down notes too. Without my laptop there's so many things I can't do. I can't blog, I chat and I can't Skype..

1 more thing.. The shops really close to early if not I would have gotten my MacBook by now!! Seeya soon!

Sian..

2009-01-06T18:31:00.003+08:00

I'm like using my friends laptop now cause my laptop sort of died on me. The backlight isn't lighting up!! I'm praying that it'll work tomorrow.

Anyway today was good in the sense that I got to spend most of the day alone cause usually I'll hangout with my dorm mates. Being alone sometimes really helps me as it justs gives me time to think about deeper stuff. I won't blog today cause I don't wanna hog my friends com so if my com works tomorrow I'll blog?

Eat me

2009-01-05T20:08:00.002+08:00

Hey! Today was the first day of school for me. It was basically just orientation for us. From what I feel the school here is pretty fantastic! It honestly feels much less stressful than in Singapore. Didn't really get to meet anyone new yet though. Out of 10 I would rate today's experience 7.5 as compared to the average in Singapore of 3.5. I really thank God for this opportunity to go overseas and I will definitely be making full use of it and not waste it away. There was also this English diagnostic test today which they use to assess your standard of English and put you at the right level. It went pretty well I guess? Thanks God!

Today is also the first day I played soccer in Australia! It was street soccer though and it was 3v3 as there aren't that many people in our hostel yet. It's really fun playing here as you sweat very little and your shirt is much drier as compared to Singapore.

I'm really not the same person here as I am in Singapore. I don't talk so much and I am hardly sarcastic anymore and I hardly mess about. I don't know if I really act different but I sure do feel different. Don't really know why I feel this way but deep deep inside I feel really lonely and sometimes it just eats me up from the inside. No one said it was gonna be easy, no one said it was gonna be this hard. It's from a song. Oh! Soccer went pretty well I guess and I had fun playing? I always knew I loved my family alot, I just never knew that I loved them THAT much. I hate goodbyes.

Time is getting very limited for me especially when school starts, so I might not update as often but I will update it regularly and posts might not be so long? I've got so much to do in the day that I don't even have time to complete the book that Jerome gave me. I'm like 7/8 through and I intend to complete before I get back. Seriously, everyday I have to buy food, wash my stuff (I haven't even started ironing yet), pack my room, talk to family and friends. I really gotta plan my time wisely in time to come.

By the way, can you guys get SKYPE so I can talk to you?? My add is lincoln91@gmail.com so just add me if you download it okay?

Alright, going to turn in soon. Take care! =]

11:25pm

From the inside out

2009-01-05T04:02:00.005+08:00

I'll upload some pictures of my room now

Basically it's something like that. It's just the right size for me. Yea, I just woke up and it's super cold to bathe in the morning.. These are times when I just miss Singapore so much.

I'll blog about yesterday right now. Yesterday was the day that my family left for Singapore. Went for McDonald's in the morning for breakfast before checking out of the hotel. Hopped on a cab and we headed for the airport but they dropped me off at my hostel. It's called Palmerston House. Saying goodbye was pretty emotional for me and I admit I cried, but not alot. I'm a very emotional person and my tear glands are very active! Anyway, it's really amazing how much you can miss what you thought was the most irritating person in your life. I am really worrying for him quite alot. Jerome and I had a conversation about how would my brother feel when I'm gone and I can see how sad he is. If you see this, just know that I want you to study hard and do well ok? Make new friends too!

When I reached the hostel, packed my stuff up and played the guitar. Went out to the city with Darren (He's this guy staying in the next room) for lunch and had Subway. Walked around for abit after that and headed back after that.

We went for jogging after that at a nearby park! It's quite nice to jog here. My shirt barely gets wet! The weather here is good as long as the sun isn't shining too brightly. Dinner @ Lygon Street after that was not bad. Had some seafood basket. The house would only provide food 1 week later for now we either have to eat out or cook (Which I'm not going to do).

I really have to keep my head turned to Jesus. I'm really missing my family badly right now and it's like everytime I think about them I feel slightly saddened by it. Alright, I gotta leave here at 7.45am or 8am so I gotta go now. Take care guys!

1 last fact to note that my housemates play Dota as well but I hope I won't join them anytime soon so I won't be distracted until I settle myself down.

7:30am

The real thing starts now

2009-01-04T20:50:00.002+08:00

I am at like my dorm now and it's like 11:50pm.. Gonna sleep now so I'll update tomorrow! It felt bad..

School starts tomorrow anyway..

11:50pm

When they're gone..

2009-01-03T20:23:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was our last day of tour. We went to a strawberry farm, cherry farm, lavender farm, and some seaside place. The strawberry farm was quite fun as we got to pick our own strawberries from the field. It was fun to be able to experience such things. It rained pretty heavily though so we had to run to shelter. At the cherry farm, we only managed to buy some cherries. The lavender farm was pretty fun too. There was some hedge maze there and we had to walk around. Basically that's all that happened yesterday.

There was no tour today. Went to Queen Victoria Market in the morning. So much to buy from there. I got lots of macadamia nuts for my dorm just in case I want to eat. The food court there was pretty good there. The food court there is so different from Singapore's. Went to Adidas at the city after that and got a few stuff. Yea, went back to the hotel to pack my stuff up and shifted my luggage all this to my dorm.

Went for dinner yesterday and today at Lygon Street. It's seriously like Diagon Alley. You know the one from Harry Potter? It really has the Diagon Alley feel to it. The place serves really really good Italian food.

Anyway, my family is leaving tomorrow morning. I can really feel the lonliness catching up to me. It's seriously quite saddening for me. The magical thing is that whenever I turn to Jesus, everything just seem to go so far away and the moment I look back at what I'm facing I just seem to sink so fast.. As if leaving my friends wasn't hard enough now I have to leave my family. The cool thing is that we're like all connected through God which is so cool. It's like we have the same father and there's internet nowadays so it's pretty good.

This is gonna be a different year...

11:35pm

Hey!

2009-01-02T21:36:00.001+08:00

Will update tomorrow! Pretty tired now

12:40am

Penguins..

2009-01-01T21:56:00.003+08:00

Wow, today got to wake up at 10am cause I didn't join my family for the city tour. The sleep was damn good! I don't know why but I keep dreaming of Singapore. This time round I dreamt of Alden, Alex, Edmund and Jerome. Can't remember what it's about but I'm sure I saw them and maybe some others. My dreams this few days are seriously about Singapore. Burnt away my afternoon by playing FM. Guess who I'm managing, Chelsea!

Left for Phillip Island in the evening. Summer my ass! Do you wanna guess how cold is it here? The wind is so strong it can practically make me lose my footing. At least that was how it felt away from Melbourne. And what else is there to do at Phillip Island but look at penguins! In fact, the world's smallest species of penguins. Whatever... I remember going there when I was about 10 years old? There were hundreds of penguins coming from the sea but today there was less than 50... How disappointing. The bad part is no photography is allowed there so I did not manage to take any photos today but the penguins were so so cute and tiny. The weather was super cold..

I do not know why I am wearing a cross but I guess that loving Jesus is more than reason enough for it.

Happy new year guys! Study hard! =]

Please tag k? I would really like to hear from you guys!

1.26am

Happy new year

2008-12-31T20:20:00.003+08:00

It's like 11:20pm here so happy new year to you guys back in Singapore in 3 hours 40 minutes time! I totally forgot that today is New Year's Eve until Alex told me. Sure doesn't feel like New Year's Eve to me. Honestly, it just feels like any other day. I am no longer feeling the magic of holidays.

Anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

11:20pm

Champagne Supernova

2008-12-31T19:30:00.004+08:00

Went to some train called Puffing Billy today. It's basically just a steam train but you get to seat right on the edge of the window when it's moving. It was very cold as the wind would be blowing against you but I guess it was fun. Didn't take much photos today though.

I had quite alot of alcohol today cause we went to various wineries. I wouldn't say that wine isn't nice to drink it's just that I would rather drink juice then wine. We really got to taste so many different varieties. I guess my favorite one would be the Moscato (Thanks Kym for reminding me!) as it's slightly sweeter. We tasted sparkling wine too which was ok.

Really didn't do anything worth blogging after that.

Back in Singapore I was really a procrastinator. I don't know if I would be one now but I'm trying not to be one. Procrastination was something that I would do every single day. I would do my homework late, study for tests the day before and stuff like that. I really hope I can change that point about me cause if I procrastinate here my results would definitely be below par. Please pray for me with regards to that ok?

I'll try to keep my posts longer in the future but for now I gotta go. If I'm not wrong there will be a city tour tomorrow.

10:30pm

The wind blows

2008-12-30T21:28:00.003+08:00

This few days is super windy!! Today was free & easy which means I got to wake up later which was good considering I've been sleeping for less than 6 hours a day for the past few days.

Let's see what I did today.. Went to Hungry Jack's for breakfast. It's actually Burger King with another name. I see Whoppers on the menu. Anyway after breakfast, went to NAB (It's an Australian bank) to set up a bank account. The interest per annum 5% per year which is quite alot as compared to Singapore.

Really didn't do anything much today. We went to Queen Victoria Market which was closed at 4pm. I guess that the highlight of today was that I got an iPhone! They sell it contractless here! I got the white color model. The only bad part is that I've got to pay $120 to unlock it so I can use it in Singapore. I must remember to Gmask it in Singapore.

Gotta sleep already cause tomorrow there is some tour and I've got to wake up at 6am. See you soon =]

Connections are more dangerous than lies

2008-12-29T20:05:00.005+08:00

l

Ok, actually this is like the 7.30pm sky! Bright?

The Caesar Salad was super nice!

This photo was taken in Vietnam! Wow, I really had alot of fun there. Of course that's another one of Jerome's talents, golfing.

This was the theme park I was talking about, you get the idea?

If I'm not wrong this is another picture of London Bridge

London Bridge

I remember studying this in Geography but I forgot what it's called already

This was taken at Great Ocean Road, I love that place!

Nice?

At around 7pm the sky looks something like this, maybe slightly darker

Well, uploaded some of the many photos that I have on hand. It really takes a long time to upload. Anyway, today was a tiring day. Tour was from 8am-9pm. We went to the Grampians National Park! I'll upload the photos of there at a later date. I enjoyed the trip because we were among nature the whole day. Kind of reminded me of Sabah minus the humidity. Can you imagine it? It's a really nice place and only photos can describe it.

On the coach today I dozed off and had this dream of Alex and Jerome. It was pretty random. I was in Singapore and we went to some hotel lobby to transfer money to Joanna then I was running after some bus while the 2 of them were on it. Random right? My dreams are really really random!

Life in Australia is becoming pretty normal for me. I think adapting to the pace of life here won't be much of a problem as it's not as fast paced as compared to Singapore. I'll blog again soon but I just want to ask for prayer requests? Can you please pray that I'll be able to fully commit my studies to God and that I'll be blessed with wisdom and most importantly DISCIPLINE throughout this period? Thanks alot! =] See you all soon!

Boston...

2008-12-28T19:04:00.002+08:00

Damn.. I can't seem to upload photos cause the upload rate at night is so slow. Anyway, yesterday I went to the Great Ocean Road. I must say that I had alot of fun yesterday. The sights that I saw yesterday was super good. Jerome, you and your SLR will own the place upside down. Just look at his abundant talents. Soccer, guitar, piano now photography? What's next from you? Haha. I really hope I can upload the photos soon though. Anyway yesterday was a pretty long day. It lasted from like 8am-8pm. There's really nothing I feel like blogging about yesterday because pictures speak louder than a thousand words. Haha! Basically I went to the 12 Apostles, London Bridge and some other places.

Today we went to Soverign Hill. It's like some theme park. Not exactly those kind of theme park that you would imagine but it's based on the mining industry of Australia in the past. Honestly, there was nothnig much to do there but it was still fun cause some of the attractions were fun and there was this pretty girl too. The people there are really beautiful. Of course I don't go to the extent of lusting but I really find them beautiful. Of course the Singaporean girls are pretty too but in a different way. This trip has allowed me to be closer to my cousin too. She is doing her degree right now so I can really seek advice from her.

I went jogging today!! It's really nice jogging here cause it's not too hot and the wind keeps blowing against you. If I continue the way I am now without exercising I would definitely coming back a fatter person.

Yay! I'm almost halfway through Destined to Reign already. It's a really good book and you should go grab it at a bookstore. It's by Pastor Prince of New Creation. Thanks Jerome for introducing me the book. Alex, I'll read the book when they new year starts so I'll be following it accordingly.

When I was in FCBC I really believed in their teachings totally but after reading the book I realised that thought it may not be wrong it's not the best. Read the book and it'll change everything. Trust me, I've only read half and it has helped me so much already.

Had Vietnamese food in the city for dinner. The next time I come back to Singapore I'll try to get some really nice doughnuts for you guys. Alex don't drool!! (:

1 question I really want to find the answer to is 'Why am I wearing the cross?" Before I left, some friends gave me a cross to wear and I really treasure it alot, maybe for the wrong reasons. I am definitely not wearing it as a fashion accessory cause I'm not a fan of those kind of stuff. I really don't know why I am wearing it and I wanna find the answer out so I'm definitely going to find some time to reflect on it.

Oh and my new number is +6132383188! Save it if you want to k? Thanks! If possible I'll put up some photos tomorrow. Yay! Today I managed to talk to a few people! Christabel, Edmund, Jerome and Wen Zhao. 'It only 4 days since you left but it feels like so long already.' That's so true, it definitely feels like I've been here for a long long time today. Alright, see you soon. =]

11:30pm

Have a nice day

2008-12-27T21:32:00.005+08:00

Today was pretty fun. Took quite alot of photos so I'll blog about today another day when Optus finally activates my broadband. It's like 12.35am here and those that I wanna talk to aren't online!!

I'll blog some stuff about my walk next time to. Today's gonna just be surfing around the web since it's so late already.

With You

2008-12-26T18:58:00.002+08:00

You know what I should be doing? Instead of thinking about what's gonna happen in a few days time I should just make full use of today. I only have 7 minutes plus to blog now unless I pay another 2 bucks. I mean all I've been thinking about it what is going to happen when my family leaves Australia and how I'm going to survive alone. I barely know how to wash my own clothes so it really makes me wonder what life is going to be like in the near future. However, I should really be trying to spend and enjoy my time here with my family while we still have the time with each other.

I got my Australian number already so unless I'm in Singapore I won't be using my Singapore sim card so you can sms or call me at (I'll edit this next time once I remember the number). Oh wells, I really hope I get my internet soon too. I just got some wireless broadband router which sadly hasn't been activated yet or I'll be in my hotel room blogging instead of wondering if people are peering right behind my shoulder which my cousin just did..

Again, nothing much happened today. Went back to the city for some shopping and food. There will be tour tomorrow though, if I'm not wrong it will be some ocean walk which should be fun. Gotta wake up real early tomorrow. I only have like 1 min 50 seconds left!! I tihnk I'll just top it up, hold on.

Ok, I'm back. I really have nothing much to blog about today. I really wish I would be able to upload pictures. Hopefully the company activates my mobile broadband tomorrow. Anyway, life here in Australia seems pretty different. There's definitely alot more walking as compared to Singapore and instead of buses they mostly use trams. Lifestyle cost here is definitely more expensive too.

I'm definitely not feeling as sad as yesterday but neither am I feeling happy today. I'm seriously missing my friends alot. I would say I treasure my friends more than my extended family. Is this natural? I guess this is because I spend more time with my friends.

Some stuff I really want to do before my school term starts

1) Commit my studies to God
2) Prepare myself to devote more time to God

Ok, better I shall think of some new year resolutions to put before the year comes to an end.

1) Stop smoking.. (Kidding! Lol)
2) Study hard and achieve at least a score of 98% for my final result at the end of the year (It's really possible although it might sound impossible)
3) Really build up my relationship with God (I'm not saying that I'll be going church every week though it'll be good that I can go)
4) Chat/Video conference with my friends at least once a week
5) Build closer bonds with my family (This might be hard as I won't physically be with them)
6) Enjoy each moment possible with my friends when I'm back in Singapore

Right now I really believe that with God anything is possible. I remember Jerome's father telling me that whenever I have problems I should just commit it to God because that's the best solution. It's a totally different case on my end. Whenever I have a problem I think of ways to solve them and going to God is usually the 3rd or 4th thing I would tihnk of doing. I really have to change that and just learn to commit stuff to God.

Guys! I don't see you all online whenever I come online! The time difference here is like 3 hours earlier so I hope we can meet online soon.

10:18pm

First day here

2008-12-25T20:15:00.003+08:00

Alright, today is like my first day in Melbourne. I must say that it's much colder than I had expected. Today's temperature was about 17 degres celcius which was pretty shocking for me considering that it's summer right now. I'm at the hotel lobby right now as internet access in the room is charged at 55 cents per minute but at the lobby it's like $2 for 15 minutes. The plane ride was pretty boring.. I was expecting them to show Twilight but they didn't so I ended up watching The Dark Knight. It's a nice show but too bad I didn't watch it in the cinema!! (:

Touched down at about 10am Australian time and we checked into the hotel immediately before heading to check my hostel out. I won't say that my hostel is good but it's decent and I'll put pictures up when I can. It really sucks to not have your own internet man. That's something I really take for granted. Almost all the shops were closed today!! During Christmas in Singapore, all the stores are open whereas in Australia most are closed except for those in China Town so on our first day in Australia I had 2 chinese meals. Feeling pretty tired today after the plane ride and all. I'm going to sleep now. The time difference here is 3 hours faster than Singapore! I'll blog more tomorrow if I get the chace to use the computer.

Honestly I'm feeling pretty down but I'm really trying my best to hide it from my family. Just knowing that I won't be going back to Singapore anytime soon is pretty depressing. I seriously miss all my friends. I really feel quite emo to the point where I may just cry. (I said before, I cry easily) I really can't wait for the chance to be able to head back to Singapore! Once my family heads back to Singapore, life's going to get pretty lonely.

I've got a few messages for some people.

Firstly Alex! I got your message today but I wasn't able to see it. Apparently my phone has some problem now, even the touch screen isn't working. So can you tell me what the message was about the next time we talk? It was like they show Alex Yan sent you a message but in my inbox there is no message.

Now Jerome! I've starting reading the book already! Thanks for it. I can really feel that something in me deep inside is changing. I know that if I don't make the effort to get closer to God things aren't going to be easy so I'm trying. (:

To you! (You know who you are) We never meant for things to turn out this way I know but I believe that God didn't let this happen for nothing. I truly love you as a friend and just the thought that I've hurt you eats me up inside. I know you'll say don't feel bad but I really do feel bad. You don't deserve to feel like this. You deserve someone who will make you happy and who can give you what you want. Don't feel sad when you read this ok? I've got this feeling that we'll be friends for a long long time.

Alden! I heard that you had a hard time choosing the cross for me! Wow, I must say that I was pretty shocked to recieve such a gift but I'm really happy. I remember in the past I always wanted to get one but I never dared to ask my mum to get me one. I've got no idea why. Just by wearing the cross makes me feel different. It makes me remeber that there is someone REAL up there caring for me. Thanks for the gift! And of course the 2 of you who contributed as well. (I know who you are) =]

I'm really happy that my friends sent me off. I'm really blessed to have friends like you all and thanks for coming yesterday, you guys and gal really touched my heart. Thank goodness I prepared myself or I may have cried. Thanks for the gifts.

I remember saying that I'll blog something about myself once I'm in Australia? I'll do that soon ok? And please don't be afraid to tag my blog when you read it ok? I really wanna hear from you guys. I just spent 4 bucks on internet and looks like now I only have about 7 minutes left. I really love all of you guys and you guys are almost always on my mind. Yes, all of you. I'll try to blog soon so see you! (:

11:40pm

Fly away

2008-12-24T18:14:00.002+08:00

Alright, my flight leaves in about 5 hours 40 minutes. Today, was a great day. I sort of spent my day with Alex, Jerome and Wen Zhao which was very fun for me. I've got nothing much to blog about in the sense that I don't really feel like blogging right now.

Anyway, my family would be going to Australia for holiday with me too so it won't be that bad. It's the part when they leave when everything truly begins. I honestly don't feel like I'm going on holiday and tomorrow sure doesn't feel like Christmas to me, just feels like any other day. I may not be updating for a few days so see you soon!

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

2008-12-24T01:47:00.004+08:00

It's really amazing how fast time can pass by. Wow, today would be like the last day in a long time that I'll be lying down on my bed. Feeling pretty emo already, I really can't imagine life without my family and friends. Couldn't time go by slower??

Anyway today was a pretty long day. Went to Plaza Sing in the afternoon with Alex, Caleb and Jerome. Spent most of the time at Spotlight getting Christmas presents. I'm definitely going to miss Alex and Jerome gaying around with each other and trying to outsmart each other all the time. This really sucks.. I can feel the emo crawling on to me. Anyway, went to Telok Blangah after that with the exception of Caleb who went back to school for CCA.

Another thing I'm going to miss is the soccer at Telok Blangah!! Really enjoyed soccer today and had alot of fun especially during the last match. After that, Alex and Deric came over to bathe then Alex and I headed to Queensway first. Finally got a jacket! Was supposed to meet like Deric, Jerome, Edmund, Leroy and Yong Soo at Plaza Sing for Twilight at 940pm but we all came late so in the end we just walked around pretty much aimlessly. The bus ride to Plaza Sing with Alex was damn funny. We stopped earlier because the traffic jam was so so bad. Had dinner at Pasta Mania after that. Went home after that.. I got some pictures and I'll try to put them up tomorrow.

1 thing I've learnt is that the grass is always greener on the other side. No matter which path you take you'll definitely be bound to look back and wonder if you've made the right choices in life.

Part 2

2008-12-23T01:36:00.002+08:00

Can you imagine someone just giving you 10 grand just like that? It's quite crazy right but I just saw it happening a few days ago. The guy couldn't even believe it! Well, today after we woke up and after Jerome and Alex were done messing we went to West Coast Plaza for lunch. Hard to imagine that a place like this was once known as Ginza Plaza! Ginza was so run down and ugly. They really revamped the place already. I used to cut my hair there! Anyway, we ate NYNY. This few days my appetite seems to be not as good as before. I have no idea why.

I've finally started packing my luggage!! Yay!! I hope I don't forget anything important. I'm definitely not done with the packing but at least I'm almost half way through. My mum finally learnt how to use MSN. Had to go to her office at night to help her fix the webcam and teach her how to use it. Dinner after that.

I don't know if I've blogged about this but 1 of the things I learnt is that your relationship with God isn't based on whether you go church or not but based on you. Your relationship with God is something based on YOU and GOD, nothing else. I'm really glad to be able to comprehend this. Some of you may know but I no longer go to church and in the past I really felt that because of that my walk went off track but now I know it's because of me and there are some things I have to change about myself in that area.

The next 1 year for me will be mostly about change. We all experience change everyday but what happens when that change is really a huge change. Haha, I'm hoping that who I am doesn't change cause of that. For one, I definitely have to change my sleeping habits.

Part 1

2008-12-22T23:11:00.001+08:00

Didn't update yesterday as I was staying over at Alden's place. Let's see, yesterday was a great day. In the morning I finally watched the sermon that Jerome lent me. It was basically about how we have the righteousness of God in us. Really great sermon, pastor Prince is seriously a really good preacher.

Alden and Alex came in the evening cause my mum wanted to buy the 2 of them plus JC dinner. It was some Japaneses buffet. After that we went over to Alden's place. Why did Arsenal draw with Liverpool!! Nooooo!! I seriously suck at bluff. I only lie when I have to and I always get caught whenever I lie.. All in all the stay over was a good experience for me since this was the first time that I stayed over at Alden's house. Hopefully they'll do this again soon when I'm back.

I'll continue what happened today later.

Never gonna be alone

2008-12-21T00:35:00.003+08:00

The days just seem to go by faster and faster. The closer I come to leaving, the faster time passes by. Today was a fun day in the sense that I always able to spend time with my friends. Jerome came up in the late morning and we just talked and played Guitar Hero. It's a fun game and it'll be better if I had 2 guitars. Anyway, we met Alden and Alex at Queensway after that. Alden and JC were supposed to get their new boots but they didn't get it in the end. I bought some stuff and we headed down to Anfield today.

Surprisingly there were quite a number of people today. Enough to either play field soccer or at Telok Blangah. Anyway soccer was as usual, fun. We had dinner after that. We as in Alden, Alex, Caleb Wong, Deric and Jerome.

The bus ride back with Caleb and Jerome was pretty deep. Everything I say here is based on how I feel. I'm not that close to Caleb but everytime we meet there's some parts of our life that we'll be able to share with each other. Of course we don't share everything but we share and it's great to meet him again. All those that are close to him are really blessed to have him as a friend.

I have to say that being around friends feel so much different now as I know it's only a matter of time I'll be leaving. By leaving I'll be leaving so much behind which it's really quite disheartening. I really don't wanna lose contact with those I know here which is already quite a feat to do. To make matters worse is that in a way I've got to start a new life there. Ironically that's what I always thought I wanted, being able to start afresh. But I also know that I'm never gonna be alone as long as I have God. And yes, I'm going to watch the DVD tomorrow I hope!

Bella Luna (I've got no idea what it means)

2008-12-20T01:00:00.002+08:00

I'm not a big fan of surprises but what a pleasant surprise I had in the evening. Firstly, I would really like to thank Alex and everyone else who was involved in the planning of it. I'm really touched by you all and those who came. This goes out to those who came today, I'm really thankful that you took time out of your schedule to come today. It means a whole lot to me. So, Alden lured me to meet him at Commonwealth first before we headed to Kathib MRT. Alex then brought us to a park near there and it's a really nice play. Alot of recreational stuff to do there like prawn fishing, pool, paintball, various sports. The place is called Bottle Tree Park and if you have gone there you should try to go there with your friends one day. I'm pretty happy today. The friends who mean the most to me were all there. Of course all my other friends who came mean alot to me as well and I'm thankful for each and every one of you. (I really mean it) Alex, you told me that you tried to get 70+ people and you might feel disappointed that not all came but I just want to tell you that even if 3 people came I would be just as happy as I would be right now. I know you took alot of effort to plan this and I just want to say thank you! Basically most of the people there were just gaying about which is always a pleasure to watch. I've got some photos which I haven't gotten yet but I'll be posting them once I get it.

Honestly, I really want to migrate to some other country and leave Singapore. There are so many reasons why I wanna leave but just the very existence of my family and friends in Singapore really makes me want to change my mind. I'm leaving for Australia in like 4 days and I better damn well make full use of it or I know I'm going to regret it when I'm going to leave. Come to think of it, I haven't even packed my bag yet.. Better start soon! See ya! =]

The Remedy

2008-12-18T21:49:00.006+08:00

Went out with my uncle, auntie and my brother and his friend today. We went for some Japanese buffet at Jurong Point. Couldn't eat much today though. You guys should seriously try it out. It's pretty affordable for the lunch and the spread there is good and the quality is good too. It's called Kuishin Bo. After that my uncle and auntie brought my brother and his friend to science centre and I headed home. The bus ride back was seriously long.

I had fun in the evening. Met with Alden and Alex at Bukit Batok to see some field for some soccer thing. Then we went to BK for dinner. The conversations I have with them is something that never happens for my other friends and they're really special people in my life. If my memory serves me right, the first sentence Alex said to me was I like Joy. Lame right.

Today I sort of officially left my cell group. I've been meaning to do that for such a long time already. I mean no point hanging there and nothing changes right? I'm sure that the reason why I'm still stuck here lies with me but there seems to be nothing I can do. Do you get that feeling? Ever since secondary 3, my spiritual life has been pretty stagnant. Nothing much has changed while my cell leader constantly puts in effort to try to communicate with me. He's been practically wasting his time on me. So what better way to make things better than leaving right? This might not seem right to you guys, but I definitely have other reasons for making such a decision. It may not be the right thing to do but I do not regret making such a choice. It's better that way since I don't leaving any loose ends this time round. Of course I know that the door is always open for me to go back. But I just want to start afresh in some Church where no one knows who I am.

This blog seriously needs some pictures..

1 more thing.. Sorry Alex for you know what!

Believe?

2008-12-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

Nothing much happened today either. Went to Clementi to collect my lenses in the afternoon. Was supposed to go to SP to play soccer after that but I didn't go cause I was scared that my strain my get worse especially since I'm leaving so soon.

Being raised up in Singapore can either be seen as a damn good thing or a damn bad thing. Personally, I feel it's a bad thing but not a damn bad thing. If you're raised in Singapore then the priority in your life would definitely be education unless you really refuse to care about it. I believe that education is important but I also feel that Singapore over emphasizes on education too much. I feel that it's a bad thing to do that but in actuality it may not be that bad a thing. It has a super low failure rate of degrading our society in the sense that most of the people who are in the society would be really uncivilized. That's not a bad thing but I just feel that too many sacrifices have been made. I mean if someone is really talented in music but is raised in Singapore, he/she will most probably be a degree holder and would get a job in the future playing music only as a part time thing or as a hobby. Whereas if he/she were raised in for example America they would most probably be a full time musician. Can you imagine Taylor Swift having to study like 5 hours a day worrying about how to pass her 'A' Levels? I'll bet she practices singing and guitar like for more than 5 hours a day. Would Messi be where he is today if he had to go through our curriculum? With our system you'll only be able to produce 1 Stephanie Sun out of so many people but look at other countries. I'm not saying education is not important but just that if you're really talented at something you should be able to focus on that talent whereas if you're not really talented then go ahead and study hard. In Singapore do you get such a choice? No.. You (the one reading this) could be really talented at something but you're most probably stuck in a school still trying to work your way for that certificate that you're studying for. Are you truly happy doing what you're doing? But as I said earlier the way Singapore does things is a sure way of making the country progress which is ok in the eyes of many but not that ok in my eyes. You can see this with your own eyes. In America there are so many people talented in singing like all those singers you see. In terms of soccer, Spain, England, Argentina, Portugal all has their own set of stars. In Singapore we got Stephanie Sun (Yay... do you even listen to her?) and in terms of sports we got Lionel Lewis. I won't count the table tennis gals cause they are from a foreign land. Get what I mean?

(:

2008-12-17T00:26:00.002+08:00

MY NEW RULE TO MY LIFE: BREAKING'S WHAT THE HEART IS FOR

Happy Endings

2008-12-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

Nothing much happened again today. Went for physio in the morning. Can you imagine having to spend like 40 minutes a day having to stretch. Really takes up alot of time. Went for soccer in the evening at Anfield but not many people came so it was quite slack. Shucks, cause of Azan now my ear is super pain. Talking after soccer was more fun than playing itself.

Anyway, I'm pretty surprised about the things I say with regards to Christ now. Although most of the time I don't mean it I still say it. Makes me think if deep in my heart I mean all those stuff I said. It's like I don't even know why I say such stuff but it just appears in my head.

... Why did you tell him that I'm leaving... Oh my goodness...

Breakin'

2008-12-15T23:26:00.004+08:00

Nothing much to blog about today but today is like the first time in my life I had acupuncture. Surprisingly it wasn't as painful as I had expected. I'm not really a fan of that kind of thing but it seems to help so I might be doing it again next time.

Met Alden, Alex and Jerome in the evening to catch a movie. I really wanted to watch Twilight but we ended up watching The Day The Earth Stood Still. The show was pretty ok although I wasn't really expecting anything about the environment. Haha. These will be the days that I'll be reminiscing about in Australia. The bus ride back was classic.